I feel like I'm going to relapse

I don't know what's wrong with me. My life is great, I'm excelling at my job, making the steps to get my LNA license, getting married in a year with a man I am completely in love with, and I have a roof over my head with two wonderful cats. But I have been obsessing over what I eat again. I haven't been counting calories, have no way of weighing myself, and I don't think I'm restricting. I just want to so bad. I want to give in to my old behaviors. My depression and anxiety have been pretty bad latley, for no reason. And my ED thoughts just feel like they're getting louder. It's a constant warzone in my head. But I'm tired of fighting it. I know I shouldn't. I've done so well the past couple of years. But I just feel so triggered all the time and I'm afraid I'm going to begin relapsing. I just don't know what to do. I don't even know why I'm writing this post I just need someone to know how I feel because I'm afraid of telling anybody because I don't want to worry them.