It's Christmas and I'm panicking!
Well, every year at this time I panic. I have my birthday tomorrow, and the 24th it's Christmas (in Denmark at least), which means two days of eating and eating. And that makes me go crazy and panicky, bc I don't wanna eat like a pig two days in a row. Or well, I don't wanna eat "good, fatty" foods two days in a row.
I know I am recovering, and I have gained a lot of weight bc of that, but I just can't wrap my head around how to get through those two days every single year... I don't know what to do, so today I am fasting to 'earn' my food the next two days, which I know is stupid and not really "recovery"esk, but I don't know what else to do.
I know my family will get angry at me, if I don't eat all day, but they wouldn't know anyways, as I live on my own. I will just indulge in ED behavior and tell them that I am eating if they ask. Which I know is also stupid, but what the hell can I do? How do I calm myself enough, so I can get through Christmas without having more panic attacks bc of the food we will be eat?
My family knows I have an ED, but doesn't know how to handle it, other than getting angry at me for not eating...
I know how you feel!! I’ve been worrying nonstop about this too I’ve been so scared of relapsing into my old habits because of a big dinner party, and I don’t want to disappoint my family by not eating a lot. Your not alone and im happy im not either! It’s going to be okay, you don’t have to do this alone. On Christmas Eve we can take a deep breath and remember that your not the only one struggling. Remember you don’t have to overeat! Just eat until you are full, if you want to go a bit lighter you could just eat some of your more comfortable foods on the table and leave out any that are scary. Try to focus on conversations about other things and conversations that engage topics you enjoy that way it will take the focus away from the food. Same thing at night, when you go to bed after the dinner focus on doing something you enjoy and will make you tierd instead of lying in bed overthinking, and even come on this app for some stress relief.
Christmas dinner is not different than many other dinners! It’s just hyped up more which is why it’s a bit scarier. I totally understand how you feel, I hope some of these tips help out. You’re going to be okay and nothings going to happen to you because of one dinner. Good luck, sending calming hugs 💗
@chamomileteabag I'm just SO happy someone replied to this. Thank you so much for that, I know how busy ppl are these days ❤️
I will try to engage in the conversation and get my focus away from the food.
I know exactly how you feel. I want to start of by saying I’m so proud that you’re choosing recovery and the fact that you can recognize what you want to do is bad, is actually a good thing. Being aware of your needs is so important.
here’s what I would recommend, eat like you normally would. The days leading up to your birthday, don’t restrict. On your birthday, eat what you want, and if that means brining your own food who cares? On Christmas, eat what your comfortable eating. Don’t try and force yourself to eat a lot or eat everything provided because of your recovery. Recovery means doing what’s best for you, not what other people expect.
And tell whoever is cooking about some safe food options. If everything is going to be fatty, ask if they can create one of your favorite foods, or ask if you can bring something to share that you know you’d be comfortable with eating. Don’t force yourself to do something you know would make you restrict.
I know you can do this, you’ve made it this far, I believe in you.