Recovering but gaining a lot making me so upset
Greetings
I have suffered with anorexia this past year and recently started to recover. Now I seem to be eating so much more (not binging though) and the weight gain is so rapid I'm already up two sizes. It's making me crazy! I'm so depressed about it. I know I'm healthier but all I really wish is to get my old anorexic habits back so I can slim back down. It consumes my every thought. I do not know how to accept these bigger sizes.
@Photographerap
Happy to hear you are recovering! When I was going through a similar phase, I did a cleanup of most of the things that reminded me of my past eating habits.
I gave away most of my old clothes that didnt make me happy, cleaned up who I was following on youtube channels/instagram for the wrong reasons and even threw away journals/ weight-trackers I used to own because they were a sore reminder of my past and I could not see them any other way. This cleanliness made me feel like a new person with a different look and size. It reminded me that different doesnt mean bad.
Now I am re-doing my closet since I am not as anxious about clothes as I used to be and adding clothes that spark joy and excitement in me to wear them. I am also following people who inspire me on social media to do meaningful things, not achieve aesthetic goals.
The point of this is, look for areas in your life where junk has accumulated. It could be tangible junk or intangible that is leading to finding it difficult accepting the new and improved you. Clean up that junk as it doesnt spark joy in you and add new things if you wish or go on the minimalist path, thats up to you! I hope this can help in any way