Relapsing due to stress
I am struggling with a ana relapse. I have been so depressed and anxious I've lost all motivation. I've been laying in bed all day barely consuming 500 calories a day. I haven't been drinking anything ethier. Ive been on a slow decline for a month now. Im starting to bruise easy, get light headed, my vision is blacking out when I stand, I feel nauseated, my period has been coming late. I've been doing so good, but the stress is getting hard for me to cope with. My relationship has took a toll on my self esteem. The fighting, the jealousy, the anxiety. Im so exhausted from it. I just want to breakdown and cry. I so desperately want to be happy but life is making me feel trapped. I need more from the people who are supposed to love me. It's like I'm fading away and I'm hurt because no one noticed or maybe they do and they don't care enough to do anything. I feel broken.
The source of my depression is my desperate need for approval from people around me. Im unhappy. Im lonely. I blame myself for everything. I worry 24/7 about being abandoned and betrayed. Im tormenting myself and I'm breaking myself and I don't know how to stop my self destruction. Am I miserable because others need to treat me better or am I the one who is the problem? I always blame myself, and Im not sure if that's the truth. I feel like I'm going crazy for being upset or worried in my relationship. My mental health is so shaky. I feel like I've lost grip on reality and I'm disassociated again. I don't know how to fix me.
Who cares about people, no matter what you do, people will always have their own opinions about you. What matters is what you think of yourself. Forget about how people treat you and start treating yourself better. You worry so much about everything and everyone around you but you don't worry about yourself. For once, forget everyone and focus on yourself, focus on healing yourself. You have come so far why fall back now, don't You love yourself enough to have a better life. When you start treating yourself better, people will start treating you better. The only approval you need in your life comes from you. Get a hold of your life and set it straight. You can chat with me anytime.