Stuck with anorexia
I'm completely stuck with my recovery from anorexia and I have to blame my depression for that.
Doctors have explained, what will happen, if I don't start to eat more, but food is just scaring me and I don't want to eat. My heartbeat has started to slow down a bit and I've been told that soon they'll have to put me in hospital or otherwise I will die. Well, that's the worst scenario, but kind of true.
Then comes the part why I'm stuck: I don't want to eat and I don't really care if I'm dead or alive. It doesn't matter. It won't change anything and no one, I actually mean this, no one would care. My family? Maybe my mom a little bit, but not much. Friends? They'd get over it really fast.
So I don't really know what to do anymore... I need help, I know it!
Hey :) I know how hard recovery is but we have to keep going! I don't suffer from anorexia but I somehow can relate to your feelings of being scared of food, I have that sometimes, too. Well, if you know you need help that's really good because it's the first important step you have to take. You need to give yourself the time you need! It's a long way but you are going to make it.
Maybe it might help you to discuss your options with your doctor? It helped for me - shows you what possibilities you have and what suits you best.
Hello! I am really sorry you have to go through this. I suffered from anorexia years ago, and it wasn't fun. I felt as if I was going to get really overweight from eating just one meal, and on top of that, I thought I already was overweight. But the truth is, if you have anorexia, you are not fat; you are worried that you are getting fat, when you really aren't. It's all in your head, and that's what listeners here on 7cups years ago helped me realize.
You said that you don't really care if you are alive or dead. You mentioned friends, so I am assuming you are a teen. Just think how much life you have ahead of you; starting a family, having kids, getting the job you wanted, there's so much more ahead for you that you would never know what it is like if your life was ended earlier. You said your mom might care a little bit. If you think she would care some, more than likely, she would probably care a whole lot. She would really miss you, think it was her fault, be mad at herself maybe. It would be a really hard time for her. And if you have friends, they would probably miss you. And people that didn't know you would be shocked and miss you too. You don't want to end your life. You are worth it!
Just remember that you ARE beautiful, NOT fat, and ARE worth it!!
