Treatment

I've done a little research on the net for you, and the things I found seem rather interesting and definitely not scary. I am answering you because I have been myself both bulimic and anorexic in the past (switching from one to another, not pleasant really) so I may know how you feel and what could scary you. I've never been hospitalized, though. According to what I found on the net, usually there are structure equipped with the right tools to help you overcome your fears, they teach you with recriative activities (yoga, music therapy, meditation etc.) how to accept your body, how to deal with your impulses, how to eat without feeling guilty and other stuff. There are session of group therapy and session of individual therapy. They even teach you cooking, in order to make you understand that food is not an enemy, but something rather enjoyable. Really, it does not seem so bad. If you want to get out from this situation and you are not able to do this alone, maybe this is what you need. Trust me, you don't deserve to treat your body in the way you are treating it, and the more time you let pass the more it will be hard to get rid of this illness. Weight is not important, it does not define you as a person, nor it define anyone else in the world: it's your mind/soul that will make you memorable to the people you will meet throughout your life. I employed a rather long time to understand that, but when I decided it was not my business what other people thought of my body I felt a LOT better. And surprisingly, I did not gain much weight when I started to eat again (without throwing up, I mean). My body shape is average now, and it am perfectly fine with that. I hope you will feel better soon.

with all my love,

N