Alienation
I'm writing about this because it's happening right now.
I'm pretty sure I have bing eating disorder, I've been struggling with it for some months now and it feels like it's not going away. I've been from eating like an animal to extreme restriction to "make it even" and the whole time I feel like trash. The biggest thing for me other than the way I feel, is Ofc the weight gain and how this alone makes me feel... SHAME. I feel so ashamed. I beraly leave the house anymore. I avoid people at all costs because I feel like a beast.
So right now my aunt and uncle are here, hanging with my parents and I haven't seen them in a while. So I am locked in my room.
You honestly seem so, so courageous and brave to have to handle this rough situation! What steps do you think you could make toward recovery?
@Emily619 thank you.. Really! Well I'm in therapy and I started antidepressants a couple of days ago to help with my depression and unbelievable levels of stress so that's that... In my everyday life though it's just a mess, I have some good days where I try to be active and social and there are others where I can't seem to shake that feeling of... I guess hopelessness. I am trying, idk what else to do
@Madkat
I'm so proud of you for trying! Starting out with simple, small steps is crucial for recovery. How do you think you can still cope and feel well about yourself and your progress?
@Emily619 The main thing that gives me a break even though I'm not always able to "reply" are my friends.. I'm very lucky to have people who even though they don't always understand, they really want to.. So being with these ridiculous creatures makes me break free from the paranoia even if it is only for a few ours... They make me feel alive... Another thing is when I feel like it I love hiking so I do that , nature and the physical exercise are amazing for my brain... The problem with all of the above is that I have the drive and mood for them only for some days and then it's back down again.
But I'm so greatfull that I have breaks, even if it's for 5 minutes, the fact that I breath is so important, it kind of keeps me going.
And again thank you ... You are so helpful!!
@Madkat Sounds like you already have a good insight as to what helps you. Well done for noticing that.
I wonder if you have tried this, during a good period, notice what has helped it be good, and then plan to do that again. Schedule it. And then do it whenever you had planned to. So then you have set yourself up to do something you find useful, even if you don't feel like it.
Have you ever wondered about the difference between doing what you feel like and doing what you need to do?
Each step you take is important and you should be proud of yourself that you have gained the self awareness that you have.
@Madkat
i can completely understand how you feel with this, only one person I know personally knows about me having Binge Eating Disorder, if you ever need a listener to talk to I
