First time asking for help

I've been struggling with poor eating habits most of my life. it began as having my food portions strictly controlled, to losing weight quickly and unhealthily to try to feel better about my body, to now when I live by myself andcan't control my eating patterns. I've never sought professional help for this, but I feelit's time to start. And I'm determined to overcome it.

One of my greatest fears is that no one is going to believe me. In all other aspects of life I have great control, and I even appear healthy.I have a 20.0 BMI. I'm grateful for that, but I also don't want to sabotage my health any more, and I want to be able to address why this is an issue so it doesn't keep coming back and taking over my life. I have a hard time voicing myself in general, so I thought writing a letter to bring to a doctor's would help to start the conversation. can someone tell me if this sounds okay?

"I don't want to self-diagnose. That's why I'm here. I know I've had disordered thoughts and behaviors surrounding food intake for at least the past 5 years. When I was 18, I lost 40 pounds overa 2 month period, through food restriction and excessive exercising. Since then it's gone between periods of normal and abnormal.

What I'm concerned about now is binge eating. Here are some of the symptoms I relate with:

Eating more than others in the same situation, having no control over what/how much I eat, feeling upset about it afterwards, binge-eating episodes once a week for the past 3 months, eating quickly even when I am uncomfortably full, eating alone and hiding the food/evidence, feeling guilty/disgusted/depressed about eating.

I've never purged, excess eating and excess exercising are the main issues I've facedover the years.I know I have a healthy BMI and a regular blood pressure andI want to be able to stop this before this changes.Whatconcerns me too is the total lack of control and the emotions behind it, the guilt of sabotaging my body."

Thanks for reading,

Adelaide