I can

Heyy!! Im struggling so much with my weight and my eating habits and now I want to share my story with you because I need help.

I was always overweight and wanted to be normal. November 2018 I started my weight loss journey. Ive lost 10kg and was so proud of myself. Because of all the compliments I got from my friends or even from strangers, I felt more comfortable in my body like I never did before. One day I realised that my diet was really unhealthy and I was afraid of gaining all the weight back, so I stopped my diet. But I did it totally wrong. I went from eating literally nothing to binging.

So thats my background.

Since February Im suffering from binging and I need help! Im trying my best but it doesnt work. I try to eat healthy and I try to control myself. I go to the gym several times a week and I try to recover but as soon as I come home I just think about food, I lose the control over my body and Im binging. At the end of the day Im laying in bed and I just cry my eyes out because I feel so guilty. I look in the mirror and I feel so disgusted when I see my body. Sometimes I dont eat anything for a few days because it makes me feel better and I just want to avoid gaining weight from binging. Im not gonna lie but 80% of my thoughts are about food, calories and how I can lose all the weight Ive gained in a short time.

I just want the control over myself and I want to be happy. Thats why I actually began my weight loss journey but now Im just here binging and with a slow metabolism..

I dont know what to do.