I know why I should stop but I can't.
I've struggled with BED since middle school. I'm talking hiding food to eat later, eating till I feel physically ill... All that.
In college I was able to stop binging by not eating in general. I lost over [edited by Anomalia for weight specifics] pounds. Worked out for hours each day. Ate maybe [edited] calories. Everyone said I looked great.
Now I've gained back that 65 pounds and then some. I binge again. I eat even when I don't want to eat and I can't freaking stop. I'll be sitting on the couch thinking "I shouldn't eat im not even hungry" and before I know it I've eaten a whole box of ice cream pops. I feel ill.
I I just don't know how to stop. I don't want to do it. I hate what it's done to my body. I'm a driven person. Graduated honors in my masters program. Professional job. Good relationship. And still I eat in secret and until I'm ill a few times a week at least.
What at do I do? I'm lost. I don't know how to fix my relationship with food. When I diet I end up restricting and that's not good either.
@FranklyMyDear
Hello Frankly!
It sounds like you have had a challenging time with having a healthy relationship with food. I know many factors can play into these reasons but I know stress is a major factor. From what you wrote, you sound really stressed with school and other obligations in your life. Do you think it could be aggravating your symptoms of binging? How long have you been struggling with binging or other unhealthy types of eating habits?
The thing to remember is, not all eating disorders have to do with starving yourself or making yourself purge. It can also be the opposite with binging and overeating. It can also go back and forth between the two, no two people are the same and their struggles with eating disorder(s) can vary and be totally different. It sounds like that is the case for you and that is totally understandable.
I would encourage you to look at our self-help guide on Eating Disorders. You may find some useful hints and suggestions on how to cope with your struggles.
I hope this helped a little, good luck and take care! 
xx
@FranklyMyDear
It sounds like you feel so out of control, and frustrated...especially given that you are such a driven person. It must be hard to feel like you can't get this under control, when you are good at so many other things. It's not your fault. Beating yourself up over it will only make it worse. Be gentle and kind to yourself. Nurture yourself in healthy ways. And, know that you are not alone. You have taken a really good step by reaching out here. Use us. Post when you need support.