I'm new here and overwhelmed

I'm not sure what to say. I think I have a food addiction. I think I've been in denial that food is addictive. I'm thinking it's an addiction because it is an overwhelming, almost out of control urge to eat. It feels like this: you haven't eaten all day and are so hungry that you can't think of anything but getting food immediately. Except for me, I'm not hungry. I just want food so bad that it's almost painful. I had gastric surgery 21 months ago (which is why I'm never truly hungry), lost 80 pounds, and have put 30 back on since January. I'm disgusted with myself. I would love to be thinner, but the real thing that bothers me is my inability to do physical things without getting winded and out of breath. I can't even check the dang mailbox without breathing hard and breaking a sweat. It's ridiculous and embarrassing. Yet, I continue to binge eat. I just wanted to talk to someone. I'm not really sure what anyone can do to help me because I don't even know how to help myself.