Need help. I'm ruining my health
I'm an average looking person with average body type. I don't have model-like perfect body. I started seeing this guy 3 months back. 1 month back, he sent me this link: https://www.thecentrefordermatology.com/blog/general-category/1387/ and said I might find it useful. Since then, I've started becoming very self-conscious. I feel like I'm not good enough for him and he doesn't find me attractive. I tried dieting for a week, but that made me very weak. I even fainted on my way to work. That made me more depressed which lead to binge eating. After eating I always feel guilty and I make myself throw up. Now I can't stop myself from doing this. I really don't know what to do. Please help me.
@tealHuman1528
You can't because you're not doing it for your own happiness. You're doing it for someone else. Let him go, get rid of him. I know I'm sounding brutal but if it's not weight it will be something else, guys like that are full of themselves. You have to love yourself and realise women (any woman) has their OWN body type, no matter how many diets they do. If you have a healthy weight and you have a normal body like you said, I see no motive to drop weight. If you thought "ok let me try to be a bit more healthy, enjoying exercise and more good yet healthy food" I would 100% say for you to look forward to that, but I see a wona changing herself to please a guy who has the audacity to tell you that you need to lose weight. Well he needs to learn respect and consideration.
Love yourself. We live around 80 years. Life is too short, don't change for anyone because no one is worth that.
@Booklover95
You just judged all guys as being manipulative in her body image when she is the one who came to the conclusion that her boyfriend may have a problem with her weight. She never mentioned he said that.
Don't jump to hasty conclusions sexist.
Secondly, we shouldn't encourage her to just drop him. If he is supportive he can be used as a helpful partner to help support her.
To the OP, have you considered medication of any kind to control the implusive behavior?
@communicativeLychee1331
You're the one throwing offensive words.
I did my best to offer advice. She doesn't have to follow it.
I do my best to help people on the website. That's my only intention.
I won't respond to your offensive words, neither will I respond to your attempt to work as a psychologist and try to diagnose me (which is hilarious).
Have a nice day.
@tealHuman1528
If you never had any body image issues before, it sounds like you had a healthy life. No matter what you look like, you are beautiful to someone. Find that someone.
@tealHuman1528 There is absolutely nothing wrong with your appearance. The right person will love you for your heart, not the size of your jeans! <3
@tealHuman1528 I do hope you dumped that man into some very big hole.
Since I don't know this guy personally, I can only assume intentions. Which leaves me in one of two mindsets.
Option 1: He may have noticed you mentioning the idea of losing weight, wanting to look a certain way, etc. He may have sent you that information to try to be helpful, not knowing the damage it would do.
If this is the case, I would strongly suggest talking to him about how you reacted, the impact it had on you, etc. The provide alternative ways for him to support you.
Option 2: He wants you to look a certain way to conform to his own ideals and cares little about the impact this may have on your mental health. This is the fastest option he thinks will get you there.
If this is the case, I know of some great ditches looking for an inhabitant.
Either way, I know the struggle of body image issues, self esteem, and binge eating. Even if you find someone who thinks you're the sexiest human alive, if you have doubts, nothing that person says will help. Which sucks. I would strongly encourage you to investigate why you are feeling this way about yourself. It's not a comfortable process, but it is worth it. From there you can find a support group to help you through the process of rebuilding your self esteem and practicing self love.
@littlebluekk
Yes, it might be helpful to ask this person what his intention was in sending you the link. Then you have some information and can go on from there.