I'm so disappointed in myself...
I was a couple of months into recovery from bulimia and self harm. Last night I fell back into cutting, and today I started taking laxatives again and I'm planning to eat less and less and purge more. It's so disappointing to have relapsed back into bulimia. :(
@Shannon1996
Thank you so much for your bravery in posting this. Relapses are horrible but please be gentle with you. The fact you feel you need to use these coping methods again is horrible and things must feel really hard and bleak right now.
Recognizing a relapse gives you an opportunity to try and put the breaks on a little. A chance to reach out for the support you need and stop yourself heading down that slope - easy for me to say right? You have done ANAZING to manage those few months and if it was a sports match for example conceding a goal would feel demoralizing but not change the 60+ you scored.
Think about what helped you to manage those few months was it talking or something else. A. set back feels truly horrible but its not a defeat.
You deserve that self love and compassion, you deserve to feel well. Ask and allow others to support you.
Sending positive thoughts your way
@Rycochet thank you so so much - this made me cry.
@Shannon1996
Offering a hug - look after you and feel free to message myself or another listener if you want to talk
I'm so proud of you for going 2 whole months without self-harming or purging. That is truly amazing! But, relapse does not erase your past success. Relapse only means you screwed up, and I know how difficult it is, but you can always get better, because you have your past victories to look back on.
Yes, relapse is very, very hard. I'm not denying that at all. But relapse doesn't mean you failed, or that you're a failure. I know it's really hard to get out of a relapse, but it is possible. I know you can do it, you're a fighter. Try to combat those negative thoughts with self love and take care of yourself. Hide or throw away your laxatives, ask someone you trust to help you through this. Do whatever you need to get back on track because in the end, no matter how long it'll take, everything will be okay. A relapse is normal, and I know you can get out of it.
Best of luck and I am seriously proud of you for going so long without self-harming, and I'm also proud of you for reaching out. Let me just say that you're beautiful and you don't need to purge to be pretty, you already are, no matter what the scale says. That number only measures your relationship with gravity, from a scientific perspective. You aren't a number of any kind. You are a wonderful, strong person. I have faith in you.
