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Hi Im new. Ive struggled with bulimia for 10 years now. Its very difficult for me to ask for any kind of help. If I could go back and chande the outcome I would
Hello Candy!
10 years is a very long time and reaching out for help isn't always the easiest thing to do. I'm glad to see you here though, hopefully you'll receive the support you need and deserve.
Would you like to tell us a bit more about how this started and what you would change if you could?
@Candyrose66
@CommunityModTaylor
My first time I was very upset about something. I dont remember how I got the idea to binge and purge. Since I was around 10 years old my body dystrophia had begun. I would get teased about being fat but I wasnt. Typically the people who teased me were and they projected their feelings onto me. At such a young age I was nieve and took teasing to heart. My first time I remember such a loss of control and such an empowerment after I had purged. As the years went by the feeling continued. Just until 5 years or so ago is when the feeling turned into dread.i hated that my eating disorder is who I am as a person and always having food on my mind. If I could go back I would tell myself its a bad idea. I often wish I never made that decision to binge and purge that one night. After so long my eating disorder is who I am. I plan my day around food and the idea is obsessive in my head. Id love to just live life and not worry about it. This is a first Ive spoken about this out loud. Ive spoke past tense to some friends but never that it still occurs. I feel I would have more control on my life and myself if not for my eating disorder.
@Candyrose66
That really was such an early age and ofcourse it's not easy to distinguish between what's right or wrong at such a young age of 10. I think everyone at that age is innocent and learns to believe everything the people around us tell us so it's not your fault that you took the things they said to heart in any way. I wish it wasn't the case though and that someone was there to constantly remind you of how beautiful you are in your own body.
Having an eating disorder by the sounds of your experience sounds like it takes up a majority of your daily life - it's a constant thought in your head and it automatically plays such a huge role in everything you do. I can't imagine what it must be like to not be able to get it out of your head. It's really brave of you to be here today and to take the first step towards opening up about your struggles.
Have you ever thought of ways you could beat your eating disorder and fight it until it's no longer a controlling factor in your life?
Sorry about the last response, i only get to repsond when i'm on shift and i'm assigned forum tasks.