relapse
Hello..
I guess I just need advice and support..
I relapsed a week ago..I almost feel the same as I did half a year ago before I went to clinic...since Bing back homre from clinic I tried my best to recover .
But here I am again..vomiting 2-3 times a day..Idk how bad it is..compared to others..
I just know that I have this constant urge to eat ..just so I can vomit again
And starting tomorrow I'll be on a holiday trip with my family..I just really don't know how to deal with it...I don't want them to notice..I'm scared and lost and alone
Yesterday I decided not to purge for the whole week..but awesome as I am.I already messed it up after today's breakfast..
My stomach is somehow used to it I guess..I really don't know how to handle it..
The worst is..I'm not even feeling bad about purging..I'm only feeling bad about being hypocritical.telling others that I want to recover and then already messing it up some hours later...
Hey
Im sorry to hear you're feeling like this. But I'm so glad you're seeking advice and support.
They only thing i would advise is probably everything you have heard before. Like distracting yourself, surrounding yourself with people and eating slowly and being mindful of What & when you're eating. And think of things which helped before relapsing
What I find can help is to not fear binging because that makes me think about it more then end up binging. But I fear of the feelings behind the reason why i binge eat and what triggers is. - And for me is Stress so i try and do things like self care to relieve stress and wait It out a bit. And doesn't trigger and binge so much
Hope that was helpful
@littlePapaya7379
Thanks! well im trying to distract myself..but the things that trigger me.. idk i cant really name then. or its nothing i could really inclunce...idk..
im on the holidaytrip now...and even if i wanted to puge.. there is no real possibility without my family noticing.. which kinda stresses me out even more
i try to look at my mood and find out what i need right in that moment. so i wont feel stressed , guilty or invisible...but idk
@ShallanXx
I am sorry to hear that you have relapsed from your eating disorder, I know that it can be hard to pick yourself back up after a relapse. Making your relapse meaningful is an important part of recovery. Thing to ask yourself, what did I learn from this relapse? How can I prove on my coping skills? But do remember relapse is part of recovery and I know it can be hard to go back on track.
@TheAsh
im kinda analyzing it... like. what lead to it.. why did i had to react with the eating disorder behaviour and not in a different way and so on.. and it helps a little
@ShallanXx
That is great, I know it is not going to make things better right away but a little bit of help is better than none
idk if i can let go of it....
what am i without it..
Im getting closer to my lowest weight again ( its not underweight..but still) idk why i am doing this.. the problem is...it doesnt even feel wrong... its like the best i can do..
well but on the other hand im kinda scared cause work (only 4 hours a day) starts tomorrow again.and idk if i can manage it... and even worse... in november i got an internship.. 8 hours work each day.. how?!
im scared...
I feel so lost.. idk. i cant fight it anymore.i feel alone and i dont know what to do anymore..i need help
