Do I actually have a problem?

I feel weird being here and writing it but I feel so bad today and I just wanted to ask and I don't know I feel like I need some support. My whole life I've been fat and I was the ugly friend. Couple months ago I have decided to change it and I started working out and I started eating so much less and it made me to lose 11kg in 1.5 month which made me so happy and I was so proud of myself but now it changed. When the school started I started eating one meal a day and I was doing it whole week and during weekend boom - I could've eat whole fridge. Obviously i didn't lose any weight since then cause when I lost something it came back during this hard weekends and yeah this is how it looks. I started loosing my hair and feeling even more ugly and fat and also I hate myself because I find myself so pathetic that I can't just not eat and lose this freaking weight. I don't know why and how I got to this point of my life but I can't get out. I just can't. I don't eat and then I eat everything and I feel like a piece of sh*t.