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How do I function?

User Profile: Wolfspirit247
Wolfspirit247 July 8th, 2021

I've been showing growing signs of having an eating disorder and I don't know how to manage it. I acknowledge that I feel hungry, but cannot act on it and I end up starving myself.

3
User Profile: theriverissinging
theriverissinging August 27th, 2021

@Wolfspirit247 hey, apologies for no replies to this so far.
What you're going through sounds very difficult to manage. You feel hungry but can't act on the urge to consume food and end up starving yourself. How does that make you feel? How have you been been feeling overall lately? Anything that helps you cope? (Feel free to skip/answer any or all questions!)
We're here for you. <3 Looking forward to talking with you more. ^^

2 replies
User Profile: Wolfspirit247
Wolfspirit247 OP August 27th, 2021

Thank you for taking the time to get back with me. :)


I don't like knowing that I'm being impacted by multiple factors, and realizing that I've actually had eating problems for longer than I'd believed. It fluctuates, so tracking it is difficult because I often don't even realize it's happening and when I do, I feel terrible for those around me. I mainly force myself to eat when I can to make sure I'm healthy enough to function in case of emergency and to prevent further family discourse over why I lose 20 lbs in a week or gain it back just as quickly. I grew up malnourished and never really learned how to have a balanced diet, so I often run on very little anyway with the occasional burst of overwhelming hunger. I became more aware of my eating issues after my ex tried to get me to gain excessive weight that I physically cannot reach due to genetics and personal choice. I'm becoming more body conscious and I've started hating myself for it. As far as coping, it's just reminding myself that I wasn't body conscious before and that I still need nutrition to survive. As much as I know it's not the best method, it's what I've managed to do for now.

1 reply
User Profile: theriverissinging
theriverissinging August 27th, 2021

@Wolfspirit247
Hi! Thank you for sharing.

It can be definitely multi-faceted. It sounds like you've been struggling with it for long but it's hard to even know you're struggling at times, I do get that.
Your feelings are so very valid. I can see why it'd feel good to just force yourself and prevent any further family discourse so that they don't have to worry.
And of course, I realise where you're coming from.
I can only imagine being in your situation. It really does sound very tough.
Being conscious of your body can be a difficult thing to live with and even more difficult to accept.
It's great to know that you understand you need food to survive. You're doing your best, I see you.
What was it like when you were not that conscious of your body?
Imagine yourself as a fictional character. How would you want the story to go? Is there something you'd say to this character?
Lots of love. <3
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