How stupid is this ?
I mean come on, let's get real here. I am 56 now, been fighting and losing every day with my battle against binge eating disorder. What is even worse is that today the only ' food ' I ate was a large bag of Utz potato chips, a chocolate bar and a bag of Werther's caramel popcorn. Where was there any food, nutrients, vitamins ? There weren't any. All I ate today was toxic chemicals and not an ounce of real food. After 34 years, I have no more fight left in me.
@SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES
I'm so sorry you are feeling so low. I can completely relate to feeling like every day is a losing battle. But you are still here! You are still alive, and I believe that counts for something. I hear the frustration in your post, and I wish I could say something that could give you hope. But in the very least I just want to offer my support and let you know I've been exactly where you are, many times. I come from a past of 11 years with bulimia, and even though I'm doing well in recovery from certain bulimic behaviors, I still struggle with binging. It's such a difficult battle to fight. But you are not alone in the struggle.
@kymkay27
Thank you so much for taking time out to read my post of woe and despair, anger and frustration. 34 years, 34 years !!!! I am so tired. It is liked being smacked in the face every day, but then you go back again the next day for more punishment and abuse.
Bulimia is no walk in the park and the damage it does to the body causes the sufferer to have a whole bunch of added issues to deal with like dental issues, stomach problems, throat.....
BED has wrecked me. Financially, physically and emotionally. But as you pointed out I am still here ( somehow ! ) so there is still hope of change, healing and wholeness.
Have a lovely weekend. 
@SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES I have been there. There were days when I ate only peanut butter (granted, I ate half a jar), bunches of pretzels or simply just Halloween candy. It was terrible and I knew I was only hurting myself. Thankfully, I was able to turn that around through therapy. I know it may seem impossible in the moment but I know you can beat this. You have made it so far.
@beautifulKoala49
You have a lovely user name, as to me, all koalas are beautiful.
Thanks for your support.
Hi sheaintgotnoshoes. I'm 51 and ran the gamut of anorexia, bulimia, and now bed over the last 30 years. It does suck. You are right in that you are still here. Some of us are no longer with us. All I can say is I relate to your post. Recovery is a lot of work but so worth it. I'm really glad you are here
@lovingCup285
Thank you.
You are glad I am here, and I am glad and grateful for your kind and very supportive words to me. BED is so hard to relate to when food is just fuel as it is for many. Eating is for hunger for the non ED folks of the world, for us, eating and hunger are not even related.
