I feel guilty about having an ed
I guess this is kind of societal expectations about eating disorders worming their way into my head, but sometimes when I'm struggling I beat myself up for having problems this...idk trivial. and i know they're not and i would never ever tell anyone else struggling with an ed that. but when i think of myself i feel bad because i have bigger things to worry about, there are actual horrible things going on in the world, there's things i need to be doing, and so much of my time and thought is devoted to worrying about how much i weigh and how much i ate that day. i feel silly and guilty on top of how horrible my thoughts already are towards myself. its weird to know in my head that what i look like doesnt matter and that i should eat when im hungry but to also not feel like myself when it comes to food and looking in the mirror. so knowing that having an ed doesn't make me shallow or immature is different from feeling that way. it just really sucks that my brain has to pile that on top of my already shitty thoughts, but I'm trying to stop thinking like that. does anybody know what i mean?
@itsrory
trust me. i know exactly what your talking about. except mine is more about depression. i feel selfish and guilty that i don't find happiness in my life, even though i should be grateful for the life that i have. it seems infintestimal compared to tons of other people on this earth that have so many other reasons to hate their life; but they dont. i feel like my problems shouldn't matter. i feel like my problems are too small to be talked about. theyre not big enough to make an impact i guess. y'know?
@itsrory Mood. My mom often makes me feel guilty about not eating, when she tells me that I am ungrateful, bc I have so much food and I won't eat it, and the african children would be happy to have so much food, but instead they are starving...
@TheMadHatterWasHere
me too. and then when i finally feel happy about my body and try to eat a little more, they tell me that i'm going to get too fat and i shouldn't overeat.
@stu0512 Same. My mom always says I eat too little or too much... 