I think I have an eating disorder? Advice needed
I’ve already had a bad-ish relationship with food so I don’t think the most recent weeks have helped. I’ve had a lot of nervousness about school also it’s finals and I’m transferring colleges soon. I’ve also got attack by a bunch of ignorant people on tiktok, they assume the worst of me just because I’ve read this one controversial manga. Being already anxious and skipping meals due to schoolwork is already hard and now being made into this monster it’s been harder to eat. My stomach hurts from hungry pains but it’s hard to eat. I’m trying to eat but nothing sounds good and even if it’s something I normally love, it’s hard to swallow without shuttering. I just tried to eat a plum, despite it tasting pretty good, I gagged and threw it up. This is so frustrating, I’m hungry but I can’t eat.
@hopefulpuppy91
Hey Hopefully. Thank you for coming forward and sharing some thoughts you've been having recently, that shows a great start in progress for wanting to get better. I am sorry that being have been attacking you on social media -- you have the right to your own opinion and that isn't fair they decided to do that. I want to first let you know that your emotions are valid, and I do not think you are a 'monster' at all. You are a human being, who deserves to feel at their best. 
I cannot give advice as I'm not a trained professional nor do I specialized in eating disorder treatment; however, I have had an ED in the past and still have some relapsing thoughts/actions from time to time, so I can sympathize where you are coming from. It does feel super stressful and frustrating in regards to feeling that hunger, but having the inability to eat. I understand where you're coming from. The anxiety you're facing due to finals definitely isn't helping, but I have faith in you to push through until the end of this semester. If your eating or any similar-related habits doesn't end up getting any better once you're on break and can take some well deserved time to yourself, I'd really suggest reaching out to a mental health counselor who is able to properly handle these sort of things. My thoughts are going out to you.
