I think I’m developing an eating disorder.
I’ve always had a low self esteem and not-so-good body image. But in the last year it’s gotten so much worse. I hate the way I look and constantly criticize myself. In mid October (2020) I started restricting as much as possible without my parents noticing. While in school I was eating small lunches and dinner, but when out of school I’d try my best to only eat dinner (Because that was the only time my eating was monitored by my parents) I’ve even started counting calories. I feel as though I’m eating too much, though I know if I told anyone how much I’ve been eating they would probably be concerned. My mom has even noticed I’ve been losing weight too. I don’t want to self diagnose but I think I have an ed. I just want to know what’s going on with me, without having to tell my parents anything.
It sounds that you concerned about this which is understandable. It might be best to talk to someone professional at school or at a medical office to see what the next best steps our.
@emmawastaken You need to get help right away hun. Talk to a teacher if it's too hard to talk to your parents. If you have a school psychatrist talk to him 
@emmawastaken
wow. you sound young so thats a very hard thing to go through, i am in a very strangely exact situation so i understand. me saying "love yourself!" and "your beautiful just the way you are!" will just not help, your in to deep and you can't believe it right now. (not to say its not true, those things are completely true, i just know it wont help though.) my advice would be to try to ask your parents for therapy, your mom seems to care if shes noticed your loss in weight. if your parents ask why, just tell them youd rather not say until your ready and hopefully they'll understand. its much easier to talk to someone you dont know, ecspecially someone qualified.
please dont forget there IS light at the end of the tunnel no matter how dire it seems, youll make it out of this.
if youd ever like to talk please feel free to try message me on here, or snapchat (weeweeonion) i promise your not being a burden if you do, i'd love to listen, anytime
Thankyou so much. I’ve definitely been considering telling my parents. I’m not too sure about it yet, but I’m sure the time will soon come for when I’ll be able to. And your response really means so much to me. I really appreciate it :)
Advice from someone that developed an eating disorder while of school age (now graduated) - help out your future self and get help for it now. I wish so bad I could go back to my younger self and tell her to go into therapy or literally do anything and/or everything to help myself be better. I think some things become harder to do when there’s years of engrained thoughts that aren’t good for you. Hopefully I’m making sense I took melatonin. Practice self compassion & watch Kristin Neffs videos about it. Have a good day:)
@emmawastaken
I am so proud of you for picking up on this. It is a strange and discomforting feeling when you work out that something isn't right. I agree with the others suggesting you talk to a professional or a trusted adult about it. We will always be here if you need support or to vent<3