I think im relapsing and I'm so scared
I'm panicking a lot, I'm scared I'm relapsing again... iv struggled with food since I was 14/15 and I'm now 23, switching between binge eating and restriction. Beginning of last year I tried to finally ask for help since it was the worst I ever got, my GP tried refering me to the eating disorder team, they just straight up denied me without even doing an assessment because my weight was deemed "healthy"... So I tried recovering on my own and it was going amazing.. until recently.. I got told I have osteopenia likely caused by all of this which like logically should make me wanna eat healthier so it doesn't get worse but it's made me so depressed and anxious I can't eat.. and the bad thoughts are coming back about how people will love me if im skinny enough, which I know is bullshit and it's just my stupid brain but it's so hard to ignore. I just don't know what to do... Like im scared of being refused to even be seen again.. and im so scared I'm getting ill again and it'll kill me this time.. im just so lost and alone right now.. Sorry it's so long the post, I just needed to offload my thoughts somewhere 😅
@CrazyCrochetingCatLady
Hey, i'm very young so i'm really not sure how much i can help, so sorry if this is a really trash response.
I undertsand. I wasn't even allowed to be seen because i was a 'healthy weight' but little did they know i'd dropped 60 pounds in 2 months. it is so, so hard to come back from those horrible thoughts of how no one will ever love you if your not pretty enough, or skinny enough or anything. I know, i'm so so sorry that's what's going on with you, but there are so many people who support you, maybe try reaching out to a loved one and/or a close friend, (easier said than done, i know.) Please, i promise you that you will feel all the more better. it'll be a weight lifted off your chest i swear.
But, if you can't do that. please shoot me a message. I would love to help in absolutely any way that i can, please, you don't have to do this alone.
Hey thank you so much for your response, not trash at all! Sadly don't have anyone I can talk to in my life as I tried that last time I was ill, they all just watched me get really ill and didn't intervene or try to help when I asked for it in recovery. I know some pretty trash people ahaha I ready appreciate you being so kind and saying that I can talk to you, really helps talking to people who've gone through similar stuff :) I tried to send you a message but I legit have no idea how 😂 totally new to this app ahah
Hey there. I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time. It’s important to eat healthy, and it’s good you know that losing weight so that others will like you more is as you say, a bullshit concept. If someone doesn’t like you just because of your weight, they are not worth your time. In fact, the majority of people is not going to be worth your time. Don’t ever think “I should be this way.” If you want to lose, please make sure you are doing so because to make yourself happy, not because of other people.
Thank you :) yea your so right, people should always love you for who you truly are, I try and drown the negative thoughts out with that kinda thinking just annoyingly doesn't always work ahaha. Hoping one day I'll manage to believe it fully :)
