Low self esteem due to being overweight
I avoid social events where I have to dress up and stuff cause I am never beautiful enough and I hate taking picture . I never feel worthy of anyone`s love and run as soon as I see anyone interesting in me , cause why would he haa ?? They must be some kind of a freak feeling pity . I have missed all my teenage years watching girls having fun and go partying while I am at home , those years I am never getting back . I hate to go shopping and cry everytime in the fitting room . I have suffered from bulimia before but I (thank God ) recovered . I am trying to love my self and accepet who I am , but it is harder than it seems . Each day is better than the one after and I am having baby steps . I don`t want to waste my twenties also I WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE but I can`t have the will to stop eating and exercise
Edited by Rain45 Moved to Eating Disorders Forum due to Forum Restructuring
In high school I wore a size 18, but I was a big mouth to get attention. My best friends wore size 0 .. I was a big girl. After I turned 17, I started just dropping lbs and exercising. I got down to a 10. Unfortunately, I was so used to attention from the geeky guys who liked me for me as a person .. now I got attention from every guy by the way I looked only. But I took advantage of that. Partied, bar-hopping, hooking up w/random guys just to feel wanted .. so stupid. Even worse, I became a prostitute after I lost my last job. I really liked the attention. I used to be fat and my dad was never around, so I loved the attention from men. 5 years ago I met my husband. I wear a size 14 now. And I'm okay with that. He loves me for who I am and not what I look like. I hope you realize that it's not what's on the outside that matters.