Not so sure
So I'm 14 and I'm not really sure if I have an eating disorder but it kinda looks like it. I get hungry but I don't wanna eat. Like my body wants food when I see it but my brain is like "no you can't. You're not hungry. You're already so fat." And I go along with it. Sometimes I get disgusted with food. I want the control. I like it, actually. I want to control what goes in my body. Sometimes, the most delicious food tastes so bland and sometimes I want to eat but I can't. I know I'm probably blabbering and being paranoid but I don't know how to explain this. I probably don't have any eating disorder- or I have- I don't know. Then there's this. I don't want to eat when I'm sad, it makes me feel so bad. And I am fat, I think. I like my body sometimes. But there are sometimes where I stand in front of the mirror and I see all the imperfections. Like how I don't have the right curves in the right places, how I'm not tall enough and all that. So yeah, that's it, I guess....
In part, I understand how you feel.. We really are taught to judge ourselves harshly by the media. However, what you're saying sounds like a serious problem. I sincerely hope that you can talk to a professional about it and get the help you need! Loving and accepting yourself is a lot of work so make sure you take a step forward in the right direction - with the love and support of the people in your life and the advice of a professional!!! Stay strong!
