Strange eating habits long before ED arrived
I was doing a bit of pondering today trying to imagine what life was like before ED. It has been decades so I really had to go back in time to remember what it was like to eat when I was hungry, say no, and stop when I had enough. It has been 34 years.
Yet........I clearly remember eating very strange things as a child, definitely not ' child friendly ' things. I used to eat raw bacon ! ( this was long before I went vegetarian in my 20s ), I used to like to drink the pickle juice right from the jar ( that might actually make sense, as salt is depleted when your adrenal glands are exhausted and as an abused kid, I was a nervous wreck, never knowing when the next beating was coming, so maybe the bacon thing and the pickle juice were salt cravings ). I also used to love the saltiest thing on the planet and it is not something that is very common.
They are called lupini beans, and it is not common to find them outside of an Italian area or shop. Sometimes I see them in a large supermarket but they are not common. They taste like they have a whole box of salt in the jar and I used to pop them like M and M's. I also used to love Scrapple, which was so gross to my mother she could barely stand to look at it ( and this is coming from a woman who used to eat pig feet !!!! ). 
@SHEAINTGOTNOSHOES
Hey there! I have seen a couple of your posts recently, thought I would reply and say I love how you describe your memories and moments in life, it's interesting. I see, you've been pondering! well, good job on that, I find the more we try and recall memories of when we last lived life without an eating disorder, the more we bring back that healthy voice within us, the voice in disguise because of that ED voice that has come up.
I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling with an Eating disorder for 34 years, it surprises me how you managed to recall your childhood eating habits, and further find an explanation for why you might have developed those eating habits, no one is here to judge you, and maybe, just maybe someone would be able to relate to what you're saying! So thank you for sharing your experiences in life as a child. It saddens me to hear you were abused as a child, I can't imagine the impact that must have had on you.
Also, I love lupini beans!! They're amazing, haha and I too pop them in like M&M!
We would love to hear more from you, your experiences and memories living with and without an eating disorder, how are things different? If you're comfortable sharing of course!
@MimiBliss
Wow, Mimi, you just blew my mind. I usually get reported for my posts, generally because people feel I post irrelevant things so I left FB in a huff the other day when the Egyptian vegan group gave me a warning about posting anything at all that was not vegan related ( I had posted a picture of my beautiful antique Egyptian ring, a picture of Mary of Egypt, etc ), so to receive such a warm, kind and inclusive sort of message, is kind of new for me, and I am over the moon, to have finally at 56, found ' my tribe '. It has been so so so hard living with my nose pressed up against the glass my entire life, being in the world but never part of it.
I am a health info junkie, albeit one with an ED ! Go figure. I have been doing a lot of reading on the bad stuff sugar does to us, adrenal burn out, thyroid misdiagnosis, meditation, mindfulness, etc. That was how I suddenly thought of those strange food cravings I had a kid. It is a miracle I did not get trichonosis from all that raw bacon I would sneak behind my mother's back - she was also not one to spare giving you a good whack, and if you cried were told ' shut up or I will give you something to cry about '. So the lupini beans, raw bacan and pickle juice forms a triangle of massive salt cravings and I just wondered if there was a connection. My OCD symtoms began very early in life, age 10. Picking scabs and making myself bleed as a result and picking the peeling paint off walls. I still do those things but my worst ( but favorite ! ) OCD issue is never ending showering. I shower 2-5 x a day, and while it makes everyone else nuts when they hear that, I love it. I love the clean fresh feeling of coming out of the shower, spritizing on some nice perfume, putting on a fresh gown, and then getting to do it all over again a few hours later ( the gown can stay though for 2 or 3 days ). I know I have a book in me somewhere, at least that is what people tell me !
Thanks so much ! 