TW: Pills, Looking for advice (vent)

Hi, I have self-diagnosed with an eating disorder. In 2020, I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression (although I exhibited symptoms earlier on, that is just a medical diagnosis). I had to take medicine for it, and it made me very hungry and gain a lot of weight quickly. That's where my binge-eating tendencies began. I am now off that medicine, because it didn't work out. But the binge-eating stayed for the last two years. Since the summer though, I have been much more self-conscious about my body image, weight, and starving myself. I hate to admit it, but now I take another pill for ADHD and even though it only helps a bit for it's cause, I mainly take it for the side effects of easier weight loss and lowered appetite. I starve myself on a regular basis, usually skipping around 3-4 meals a week. Some weeks it's worse, like last week when because of Thanksgiving (American holiday that has to do with feasting) I over-exercised until I ached and it hurt to even move, skipped meals, and only ate very little and low calorie / fat foods. My parents have made multiple comments that they don't want me to go to the hospital again (first time it was for anxiety though) and k!ll myself with anorexia. I hate it, but I can't stop. The most severe it has been recently was when I did the exercise and calorie thing I mentioned before, as well as eat breakfast the day before *feast*, but nothing else, and skip breakfast the next day and eat a small amount for the *feast*. I guess what I'm asking is if anyone could help me stop?? A summary is that I have suspected anorexia that me, my friends, and my family members think I have, and I overexercise and only take a pill for it's weight loss and lowered appetite side effect. I really need to stop so I don't further hurt myself or pass out (I feel faint frequently after skipping meals). Thank you for listening to this long rant