Tired of struggling with eating.
Hey.
I'm so tired of the eating 'voice'. What's the point in recovering if it means less headspace? More thoughts? Feeling like I'm drowning?
I've tried to help myself but then it gets too much. The fear of putting on weight is extreme.
I have an assessment with CEDS, the ed team on the 21st and had an assessment with them before. They said I had an ed but then other struggles took over.
Id love to be free from the voice, but the weight... I feel like they are lying because their BMI calculator says different things to online professional ones.
If I eat then I beat myself up for not having the self control. Saying I have an ed feels like an excuse for being fat.
Any support I'd be very grateful for.
Sorry for the rant.
@CalmCoral Hi, I'm sorry that you are dealing with an eating disorder lately. It seems like you are controlled by your ED voice and afraid to gain weight, and restricting the amount of food can give you a sense of self-control. Since I have had a similar experience, I understand how frustrated you might be feeling right now. I encourage you to ask yourself: why do I fear gaining weight, and why do I want to gain control? I hope through finding the answers to these questions, you can have a better idea and decide whether you want to continue down the path. Take care❤️
@purplehearts520
Thank you for understanding ❤️ it means a lot that someone else gets it.
I think at the moment, I am relying on the support of others, I've gone too far now. It's scary.
Hard questions even though maybe they shouldn't be! Will have a think.
Thank you so much ❤️
@CalmCoral You're welcome ❤️ I know the experience that you are having right now might be scary, but you are already very strong to ask for help! I believe that you are capable to recover and get well soon! You got this 💪
Hi so am I