Unsure if I have an ED
Hi y’all, I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia since my early 20s (now 31), and although I’ve never purged after eating, I used to restrict my calories and workout excessively. I’ve gotten better over the years with a more stable diet and workout routine, but I cannot stand to look at myself in the mirror, and if I do, I notice certain areas that used to show more bone or even feel “bonier” and basically obsess about it. I feel like I look at my arms 20 times a day to see if they’re skinny to me. It’s just an ongoing obsession in my head. I’m not actually overweight; I’m a very healthy weight to normal standards, but I HATE the way I look. I feel like my waist is huge. I feel like these thoughts are controlling my whole life and ruining my life slowly. Just wanted to vent and see if anyone else relates/any advice is okay as well :)
@jandup31 Hi there! I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with this for so long. Eating Disorders are so tricky and cunning and everyone's experience with them in terms of behaviors is very different. (i.e. purging can happen in all sorts of ways, including over-exercise). You most definitely don't have to engage in behavior x or be a certain weight to have one, and the fact that you are describing that these thoughts are controlling your life says a lot. Please know that help is out there and you don't have to suffer in silence. ED's are really complex and dangerous, and anyone struggling is deserving of help. There are some resources here on 7 cups to learn more about ED's (https://www.7cups.com/eating-disorder-help/), as well as on the NEDA website. There are also trained professionals with the CEDS credential, who are certified eating disorder specialists that could possibly be of help. You're not alone.
