feeling lost
Hello people! I need to get this feeling off my chest because I have no one else to talk to. I've been battling an eating disorder since 2014. I've had a bunch of ups and downs, went to different therapies and support groups and found a wonderful therapist who literally saved my life. I had a long period of feeling recovered, enjoying life, I thought I was over with the food obsession, the starving and the loneliness that comes from having anorexia. However, during this period food thoughts started coming back to me slowly but surely and I am now in a state where I constantly think about food, I starve myself but I have binge tendencies. It has become normal to me to spend the whole day searching through the kitchen, eating little pieces of every food I see... I feel completely lost, but I am now physically healthy which makes it harder to explain it to anyone. Is there anyone who can understand me?
Hi there! I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through a hard time again and it can be very frustrating. Your situation actually seems very similar to what I’m currently experiencing. I few years ago I was barely eating one meal a day. Now I think I had gotten my eating back on track. However, in the past couple weeks I have found it hard to eat some days. To the point where I’ll go the entire day not even feeling hungry. Then the next day I might eat constantly. I’m also no longer underweight which makes me very happy but I’m worried that my new eating habits will hurt my progress. You might be feeling the same way. I have found that in days where I don’t feel like eating at all I think of one food that actually sounds really good. Then I eat that and tell myself that it’s okay to eat even if it’s not healthy. Because at least I’m eating something. Then on days where I can’t stop eating I really try to limit how often I’m even around food. I try to do this by going out and do something or being inside or even just staying in my room away from the kitchen. I also sometimes write down what I eat and when to monitor how much snacking I’m doing. I also like to only go into the kitchen around three times a day. And when I do I only let myself have one snack after I eat food that I know is nutritious. It takes a lot of willpower and I’m not perfect at it by any means but it does help me be more mindful and aware of the situation. Sorry for the long response but I hope it made you feel less alone and maybe give you a few helpful tips. Remember any progress is a win. Big or small. We’re in this together. 💕
@WanderWonder17
Hello friend. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. I'm proud of you for recognizing your feelings and being strong to post on this community. I understand how thoughts of food have made their way back into your mind. I've gone through a relapse before, and it was not very enjoyable. Have you tried any coping strategies? Perhaps some that you've learned from therapy and support groups? Something that has helped me was making a list of positive affirmations. Write down one (for example "I am proud of my body"), look at yourself in the mirror, and say if morning and night for 21 days. The affirmation will become a part of you! There is also a wonderful Eating Disorder Chat and Support group on 7 Cups where you can reach out and chat with online members who are going through similar events. That can provide you support and know that you're not alone. I hope this helps! You can always Private Message me. I will reply to you quickly!
