how to survive college with an ED
Hi everybody. It's been a long while since I've been on 7cups, and I normally only come when I'm going through a really bad rough patch. I've been doing okay for a while as it being summer where I live so there was no school stress/anxiett or the stress/anxiety of having to talk to people on a daily basis. BUT now I'm starting my freshman year of college and it's already taken a toll on me and my body. I had been at a stable weight for a few months now and have been stressing because I need to lose more (this isn't the eating disorder talking, I am legitmately overweight for my age and height according to my doctor, which is a key driver of my ED but thats an entirely different topic). I just finished my first week of college and have managed to only eat in the dining hall once and haven't eaten a full meal since due to my social anxiety of eating in front of people but also anxiety of going to the hall by myself (really no solution here as it would seem). With me not eating very much and walking countless miles to and from class AND going to the gym daily, my calorie defecit has been HUGE and for the first time in months...I lost weight. It's scaring me that my first thought at the end of the week was "I wonder if I lost any weight..." I need tips on how to keep from relapsing and how to cope with the anxiety and stress that comes from school and having to eat. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
First of all, congrats on your first week of school! That's awesome, good for you!
I'm in my fourth year now and so in that time, I've found a few tips and tricks for keeping me on a HEALTHY schedule. I know school can be a huge trigger for ED but, I've learned that getting myself into a routine at school, actually becomes a huge life saver and I do better in school now than I do during summer break.
- First and foremost, the best thing I ever did was connect with a school counsellor. This was probably the hardest step because I always made excuses, "where am I going to find the time?", "what if I see someone there I know and they think I'm crazy?". But you know what, FIND the time. Make this your priority. Sacrifice one hour of your study time to talk to someone. School counsellors are free and are incredibly educated when it comes to working with students and KNOW how the stress of school can trigger ED. They can also offer you free classes/groups that aren't advertised to the general student population. I took a mindful eating class that was ONLY offered to those with disordered eating and it was amazing. I also got to meet a lot of other students who were going through the same thing I was, at a time where I felt really alone in it all.
- Always carry snacks with you. Whether that's putting granola bars or dried fruit in your car, in the small pockets of your backpack or binder, in a locker, heck, I've even hidden them between books in the library once when I knew I was pullling long hours in there studying. The second you get hungry, our body starts obsessing over food and that's when negative thoughts come in. Also, we get headaches, moody. irritable, tired, and distracted and this can affect our studying which, can cause more stress.
- ALWAYS carry a water bottle. My campus is a "water bottle free" zone so everyone carries their own plastic bottles and there are refill stations everywhere. I know it's really cliche to be like "make sure you drink lots of water!" but it's sooooo true. It'll help with our hunger cues, our moods, our immune system, our stress levels, etc.
- Take the long way to class or, in between breaks, take walks around campus. As a student, we sit for so long, day after day. I know I've gained a lot of weight since becoming a student and it's a normal occurence. I feel guilty for not having time to work out or the energy to do so. So while I have time in between classes, I like to go for little walks. I've found some pretty cool hang out spots that are "off the path" and I like to use these spots as my "quiet place" when I'm feeling overwhelmed.
- Make sure you eat. A long with those "hidden snacks", schedule meal times into your routine. If you don't like eating in public, go to your "quiet place" or a place you feel safe. I've even had meals in my car because the anxiety of eating in public was too much. Do whatever you have to do to get those meals in.
- On that note, protein shakes are great too. I always invest in a good (and super tasty) brand of protein shake that will help me get that extra protein into my day when I'm busy. It's convenient to drink and can even feel like a treat. And on the days where my routine is completely flipped upside down and I'm REALLY off schedule and can't fit in my snack/meal, at least I've got my protein shake.
- Most importantly, it's okay to skip class if you need a self-care day. Obviously, I'm not saying to skip an exam or an important class. I know a lot of professors will put their lessons online or maybe you could even get a friend to take notes for you. I'm just saying, some days, your mental health is more important than the slideshow.
- I've had a few professors who I felt close enough with to go to their office after class hours just to let them know that this is what I'm going through and some days, I just need a break. A lot of them are understanding and have by passed the (ridiculous) "attendance mark" for their class because I was honest with them. If you feel like this is something you could do, I'd suggest it. If you talk to a counsellor about this, they can help you decide how to go about this conversation. They might even know the professor and talk to them for you or back you up on this, letting the professor know that yes, this is what you're going through and yes, you are reaching out for support.
I'm sure I could come up with more but this is what I can think of that has helped me in the past. Feel free to reach out to this community or even myself in a 1-on-1 listener chat if you feel like you need extra support!