i think its for attention im a jerk (TW)
i know people with real eating disorders and i feel bad for even saying i relate to them at all but i just want to stop eating but i cant so what happens a lot is i dont eat for like 13-19 hours then since im hungry i eat a lot then i feel horrible about myself i dont purge but ill do like 300+ sit ups i think that i am at the point where i can just stop this before it gets worse but i dont really want to i just want a flat stomach i cant tell people because everyone is already pretty worried about me and eds are pretty sensitive in my family since my mom and my sister have both had one and theyre a little sus of my eating so yeah i dont know what to do im sorry if this is offending but i just want to talk to someone
@braveCamp7112 I felt every word you said, I genuinely sympathise with you this made me tear up :(
I've been tempted to purge but I never have, instead if I eat a lot I feel absolutely disgusting and I just starve myself the next day or exercise until I physically cant anymore. After all this I want to just not eat anything so I won't go through it again, but I can't stop myself so it repeats over and over.
Posting my experiences here or considering talking to others about it makes me feel like I'm just seeking attention or over exaggerating, because other people with eating disorders are going through so much more and I feel like im an insult to them or would be offending others.
I just hate myself and my body and I desire a flat stomach so much it hurts, and I know that I can still turn this around and if I don't stop my actions will one day become more extreme. But I really don't want to because I haven't gotten the results I want and nothing I ever do feels like enough.
If you want to, please reach out to me. If you ever need anyone specific to rant or vent to I'm 100% open any time! Thank you for sharing this and like fr, as insignificant or heavy as whatever you need to let out is I will be there.
