Idk what to do anymore 👍🙂
I starve myself all day and I think about food all day then at night I binge eat everything and make myself throw up and when it doesn’t work I break down I feel disgusting and so guilty. It a never ending cycle . I’m sos tired of it in tired of living this life where food and how I look is all I think about it consumes me . I use to be anorexic and sometimes I miss the feeling of having control and not binging at night then do everything I can to throw it up .
I hear you. That sounds so incredibly painful and exhausting. The cycle you’re describing isn’t just about food, it’s about the emotional weight you’re carrying every day, the shame, the guilt, the desperation for control.
Missing the feeling of control makes so much sense, that kind of pull toward old habits can feel comforting, even if you know deep down they’re hurting you. You’re not alone in this. You’re fighting a battle every day that no one else can see, and that takes strength.
@littleMaple7883
hi there little maple!! please try be really gentle with yourself right now<3
it makes so much sense that your body wants to binge after starving all day it’s survival mode kicking in your body is trying to protect you even if it feels overwhelming and out of control. you really aren't alone in this, so many of us try to be perfect all day but at night it gets 'too hard' and the control slips away.
i’m really sorry you’re stuck in this painful cycle it’s exhausting and i know you miss the feeling of control you had with anorexia but that control can’t last forever for anyone as your body will always fight to protect itself (blessing in disguise, i promise!) a gentle reminder i want to give you is that feeding yourself is not something to feel guilty about the real issue is starving yourself and purging after you eat your body needs food to heal and it’s so hard to be trapped in this restrict binge purge cycle you deserve freedom from all this pain 🫶
you said you feel stuck and unsure what to do and i don’t want to push too much onto you, but i honestly feel like a part of you is ready for recovery even if it’s scary to give up restriction.. you have to do that to heal from b-p behaviors they all interconnect.
maybe reaching out to a professional getting help with your eating schedule or joining a support group could really help you start to feel better relearning how to love yourself is possible and you deserve that so much💗💞
i’m here rooting for you!! i know things can get better🫂 feel free to message me about anything!
