Question
So I’m not sure if I have an eating disorder or if I just have a weird relationship with food. For the last three years I have gone out of my way not to eat anything. I only eat if my family will notice, so I’d typically eat one meal a day. If I can get away with it I don’t eat anything the whole day. I basically starve myself. I am hungry, but I refuse to eat anything. And when I do eat I feel guilty about it. I haven’t purged or anything but I’ve been considering starting. Only thing that stops me is the risk of my family finding out. I do the same either way drinking anything. At this point I am constantly dehydrated but I cannot bring myself to care.
Like I said, I am not sure if it’s an eating disorder.
@BlueJay06
Hi BlueJay! I'm really sorry you're going through all of this. I just want to say upfront that I can't diagnose anything, but the fact that purging is starting to sound appealing, and the restrictive eating habits you've described, definitely raise concern. Even if you're unsure whether it's an eating disorder, it's clear that your relationship with food is really distressing and affecting your happiness and health.
Talking to a trained professional is the best way to get clarity and support; they can help you understand what’s going on and work with you to feel better. In the meantime, please know my messages are always open if you need someone to talk to or just want to vent. You're not alone in this, I understand how hard this issue is, and you deserve help and kindness, not guilt or shame. 💛
PS: I know it’s so much easier said than done, but getting your food in is really important. Your body deserves nourishment, even if your mind is struggling to believe that right now (even small steps count).
