me and my problems with food

Well, hello... I'm new to the application, I still don't know how it works well but I'm trying

Honestly, I don't really know what I have to write here, my eating disorders are not diagnosed, I don't know if I have them perfectly either but well, here I am

I have a love-hate relationship with food, I LOVE food, I love eating, I love everything, but I don't like it so much when I see the changes in my body, when I gain weight, when I hear my mother's damn comments saying how much I've gained (even if it's less than a kilogram) and she starts comparing her body with mine, etc.

I don't consider that my body is bad, it's simply not toned like the bodies that my mother sees on the internet, but well, clearly this whole opinion about my body changes when my mother opens her mouth and begins to criticize me, my self-esteem drops, my desire to eat anyway goes down and it becomes an endless cycle of eating super little, vomiting it, constant dizziness, crying, more vomiting, comparing myself, and well nothing like that, I don't know what else to say now, excuse my bad writing, I speak Spanish and I'm doing this with the translator.