Helping a family member with a suspected ED
Hello,
I have a nephew that is close in age to me, almost like a brother. He is now in his late teens. Since he was a kid, as early as 5 he had very picky eating habits. He would cry when he had to eat and now that he’s older with more independence, he can go days without eating. He engages in a lot of exercise and have been warned by his doctors that he’s underweight. I hear him say things like he’s going on a diet or he’s fat or if he’s eaten something that means he can’t eat for the rest of the week. No one else in my family has really done anything about it or takes it serious enough and it scares me. I know it’s a sensitive topic and don’t want to cause damage by approaching it in the wrong way so what should I do?
@ambitiousMelon1108
Hello there!:)
First of all, I just want to say a big thankk you for reaching out, it is an amazing act of caring and being an amazing loving aunt and human being. Thank you so much for that, you are an inpiration to other people, including me and myself.
A being someone who has been through a several eating disorders over years, I totally understand that this whole situation is hard and challenging to accept, admit and talk about in general not only for your nephew but even for the whole environment he lives in. It is like people rather close their eyes out of fear than they sit with the suffers and pain and stand up against it.
I remember, when i was severaly ill and deep down in my ed, i was doing everything to cover it up : "I am not hungry" "I ate" "My stomach hurts..." I used to work out on the cold floor of the bathroom at 2 am when everyone was asleep just to be less suspicious. And these things were going over and over again, like a loop of pain. However... deep inside i hoped... that someone could one day notice, even a bit. That someone could care and be there.
Talking with him softly and slowly about how he is really feeling can be so helpful. As well as reaching out to some professional firstly. Let him know that he is safe and that he can do it, because i have done it too, it used to hurt a lot... but in the end it was more than worth it, because we hurt where we care.
Dont ever hesitate to reach out to me. I am here for you.
I am so proud of you. Sending love, energy and strenght!
🌸Hana🌸