Trying to recover
Hey
I have been doing a lot of things to improve my eating and mood. I have been eating well and not purging after binging and binging a lot less.
But i thought i would try and find a new hobby to help improve my mood and only thing i found i enjoyed was cylcing. Just so happens lose a lot of weight from it.so i felt very dissapointed when i see im still underweight which thought would never feel. But i think it will become into an obsession. I go on bike rides with my sisters and they just ask me how many calories think losing from doing it. Which i think is really incosiderate to say around someone who trying to recover anorexia.
I have gained a lottt of weight though but I think i may be nartually thin anyway and I would like to be healthy weight but dont think i will even if i eat regularly cause im exercising to much and will feel like im not recovering. Even though its not intetional.
And everyone around me is talking about food and comment about peoples weight and really triggering. And feel really fat even though i know im underweight. I feel like giving up. I cant even do - trying to find a hobby right
Theres no point in this thread but thanks for reading
Hey
Im sorry you're finding it difficult to recover. It is understandable. But I think you're doing really well and should actknowlege that more.
But Eating disoders aren't just defined by your weight. You can still try to remain relatively healthy by exercising and eating well.
Have you told you family of how what they say affects you ? Maybe they dont realise the impact it has on you.
Take care
@littlePapaya7379
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm glad to hear that you are aware of the problems and trying to work on changing your relationship to food. However, I wonder if cycling is perhaps too triggering for you at this stage? It's something to consider because you want to be able to enjoy your hobby without any thoughts that fit with the food/calorie pattern of thinking. But either way, find several new hobbies! It's important to be able to pick from many different options when you are needing an outlet. Some ideas would be picking up an instrument, or creative things like drawing or knitting.
@littlePapaya7379
I'm really sorry you're struggling so much. I don't think I have much to say in the way of being helpful, but just know you're not alone. When I first starting trying to recover a few years back I thought exercising was a good hobby as it relieved stress and meant I was doing recovery in a healthy way. I noticed when I crossed the border fo obsession and cut back and even though I ended up relapsing now I think it was always a good sign to be able to notice the point it became unhealthy. So it's good that you're noticing it could be a trigger! I get that it is so hard to do so well done!! Hope you manage to get to talk to your family about it and let them know how their comments affect you. But just know that you're nto alone. <3
