I wish I could tell everybody that...

I am ready to get married

I was raped when I was 15. I tried to kill myself. I was hospitalized in psychiatric hospital five times. I'm depressed since I was 12. I'm diagnozed with borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, some kind of psychosis, severe depression episodes. I'm not able to keep my legs together, I'm a sex addict. I like it rough, and then I feel guilty because I'm a feminist, I was raped, and I should not want to be tied up. I hate my boyfriend's family. I hate my cousins. I'm drinking while writing this.

I had a habit of hurting myself before. Not in a suicidal way. But just hurting because I feel pain. And now I started to get back to it. Whenever my partner and I would fight, I would start fidgeting with my hand then I would start scratching my fingers and arms. I don't know how to deal with my emotions and I don't know any outlet for it.

I hate when they ask if I'm okay because of stupid Facebook post. Seriously I hate it because I might be struggling but if I were to tell them that they would put me in the phyc ward in the hospital. I was abused from a young age by my mother and I now have suicidal thoughts because of it

I'm confused about my future , very anxious...cry often. can't seem to do well at anything, feel like a true loser.

The father of my baby has another family.

I am currently 5 months pregnant. Accidentally got pregnant because i was too confident about myself and that the doctor told me it'll be hard for me to get pregnant since i have PCOS (polycyclic ovaries).

Yes, in short I was a mistress. Which i only did because i was after his money. I was never in love with him the first time i saw him but eventually learned to as the years went by.

I was very stupid and all i can do is feel guily and ashamed of myself. That I thought i can still make this right even though it was wrong.

But only realized that whatever you do to make a mistake right, if you're alone trying. Nothing will ever be changing.

I'm still happy with my baby though.😊

I just wish i can tell that to all the people i know without being deemed as evil.

Ashamed of my self and behavior and the fact I've accomplished nothing

I want everyone to know that I can't do everything. Ok not capable of being nice all the time. I can't always do what I'm told. And I'm tired of being ignored.

It takes a massive amount of strength to speak about your pain and you know what? You are the steel of the katana, you are rock, you are a diamond. You have so much more strength of will than you realise.

That I can talk and I love talking, but someone has to come to me first. That I have a problem starting conversations, but if I'm laconic at the beginning doesn't mean I hate them. That right now I NEED someone to talk to about little shits that cross my mind, but for that I need someone to talk to me first. Even if I'm reading or listening to music, please come talk to me, I won't bite, I won't send you away and maybe you will even enjoy my company, how great would that be!