I wish I could tell everybody that...
that i am struggling to hold it together. that my friend's emotional break down yesterday over her relationship made me wonder if anyone can have a happy relationship and reminded me that I can't even seem to keep a boyfriend for a few weeks when I am being myself. that people keep telling me I deserve better, even these men. But, i'm starting to doubt my worth because karma has been nothing but a complete jerk to me and I've been nothing but kind to the people who have gone in and out of my life. that I don't know why, but I really do miss him for him and we weren't even dating that long. i know it's illogical. but it's obvious he doesn't feel the same way or he'd be trying to get back together...
It's getting increasingly harder for me to hold me head above the proverbial emotional waterline and that I feel like i am too weird and different to ever fit in anywhere and that I will die alone.
that I am devastated that my mom will be gone for a whole month during christmas leaving me alone during the holidays and that I don't know how I will be able to handle the holiday blues single and eating christmas dinner alone with no family...
I am worrying easily
and have doubts about how people say they love me
cus i know they dont
Please stop thinking you know what's best for me when clearly you don't have my best interests at heart because you tend to make my life actually more difficult. Let me do stuff at my own pace because the more you push me the more I will resist
I'm not ok. I just appear to be better than I used to be....
Im so tired right now my legs would fall
my back needs massages i need sleep for whole day
I'm trans (and be accepted)
Sometimes I just want everyone to leave me alone and let me be.
I'm sick of being told to smile. I can't fake it and it pisses me off when people tell me that my attitude sucks. I can't MAKE myself feel happy and non-stressed. It's not a lightswitch that you flip.
@mrssneaky
I'm tired of that too. I feel they force me, thanks for writing that.
I'm not as confident as I seem! Underneath the exterior is one very anxious soul 😥
@Singleblue
The anxiety is clear, everybody can see it.
@Singleblue I think they mean to say, people are a lot more observant than we give them credit for. I found that my friends knew about my ADHD tendencies when I didn't realize. Admittedly, no one knew I was suicidal, but I'm surprisingly good at hiding it.
Be vulnerable. It's how we connect.
Stop thinking that you know what is bet for me.
How to get away from that? it should be easy...