A talk about the future.

7Cups decided to begin chatrooms for troubled people, but did not expect the troubled people to get to know each other, share their problems in a group and bond over their pasts, presents and future. This professionalism is what I have seen being repeated over and over throughout the years Ive been here – and its been a while.

It seems as though the founders of these chatrooms had not expected at all what would happen, even though it was all rather predictable. It might sound like Im very much accusing only, but Im talking about what has been going on for a while now. What happened overall, then to Thinking Space and now to the Depression Community Room. If you do not know what I am talking about, Id invite you to look at the chatrooms and see for yourself; theyre desolated.

In this post Im going to make a few points and eventually work to a conclusion. The first part, as you mightve guessed, is about the current chatroom situation, later I will discuss some problems Ive seen overall on this site which are global and not less problematic. I am not quite sure how censorship works here, Im not sure if this post will be deleted and if I will get banned from the site (it is already quite strange that I must come to this conclusion, but anyway, time will tell), but I think it is time that someone speaks about what is going on and I plan to do so. And I can sugarcoat it, but I doubt the effectiveness of that. So here we go.

It is hard to pinpoint a time when it exactly started. Ive been here now for four years and though things do not change that much Id like to start of with a specific point in time where – I believe – most of the things started rolling. It makes the problem more tangible, if you will.
The thread Im talking about is this one: https://www.7cups.com/forum/GroupSupportChatRooms_140/QuestionsandObservationsontheGroupSupportChatrooms_195/TheThinkingSpaceRoomProblems_35789/1/
It was called ‘The Thinking Space Problems and the problem is already in the title. In this thread certain problems were discussed and assigned to Thinking Space as if the chatroom was some kind of scapegoat – which I guess it was after all. Problems such as group forming, rudeness and dark humour. Things that were happening in every room, and for my point I will quote one of the members defending Thinking Space, @W3llThatSettlesIt;

‘(...)I recommend you take a look at the psychology behind group dynamics. It's imminent that any socially functioning crowd tends to associate with a certain dynamics which resonates with their common dissonance towards intergroups. TS is neither an exception nor is it the only paradigm as it is being subjected by the rest of the site. Each room on this site has its own intragroup synergy and a strong behavior modification as they get deeply engulfed and comfortable with their group that it's psychologically numbing to associate with the other groups.(...)

One could easily see that all rooms were rather exclusive and had special groups, with their own dynamics, inside jokes and manner of talking. However, Thinking Space was dismissed as a problem, because of a few reasons. None of which were mentioned openly, but I think theyre rather obvious. They were:
1. There was a scapegoat needed.
2. The humour in Thinking Space was darker than other rooms, it was easy to call them evil or something like it.
Denying that place and closing it, meant that a lot of that dark humour spread over the site. Something that seemed an obvious conclusion: if you kill a rats den, the rats wont disappear, but spread. However, no one saw that coming. Which is rather confusing. There is this team of people guiding the chatrooms, but they didnt consider the reactions their actions would have? Here is a sign of a faulty system. Before I continue onto my next example, Id like to point out another flaw – the utter unprofessionalism that is excused from one, but not the other. If you read through the thread, you will clearly see the obvious hatred for the people of Thinking Space, but only warnings to the people of Thinking Space. An example:

‘"Oh boo hoo, a mod is bullying me because I'm not following the rules that I agreed to when I decided to spend my time here and not on 4chan. Boo hoo hoo" --most of thinking space

‘Have fun in the ball pit chilluns ;)

These comments, obvious mockery of a distinct group of people on 7Cups, did not get reprimanded. This was a defendant, probably on the same level as the last two;

‘"there is a chat room on the internet where people make jokes I don't like and it's against the rules "

It got this;

‘- Please keep your tone respectful! It's okay to have different opinions than others and express them, but we want to keep this a productive conversation.

This might seem like a tame example, and that is because it is. The whole thread is frighteningly subjective. It honestly makes me cringe to read, its quite awful and I feel sorry for those involved.
The moderators do not reply to any of the ‘haters (who go as far as to call them viruses, ie. Instead of being confined to 1 room, the virus of TS is now spreading across to every other room available during the peak clique times that had been the stomping grounds of the most vocal opponents in TS to keeping it an open and friendly, as well as truly thoughtful, place in the 7 Cups community. Maybe it is death throes, and a short-lived temper tantrum. No reprimand of course) but go hard on hard on everyone who dares to defend Thinking Space. As an outsider, this thread was a rather harsh wake up call in my trust of the moderators. That is why Id point this as a start. The subjectiveness and somewhat unfairness was surfacing, and it did not back down.

Thinking Space got shut down, members were incredibly sad and they got their chatroom back – but closed and hidden away. Some thread was installed to give members the key, but it was not advertised, it was hard to find and Thinking Space was frowned upon by everyone (moderators going as far as to say ‘if you want to be rude, go to Thinking Space) and basically it was left alone to die a slow death. And it did. It became more and more silent until only the regulars were left over, confined to one room because the whole site was quite openly hostile to anything they did.

This seemed like an emergency plan after a while. Why inflict this on another room? Surely that should not be necessary – look how Thinking Space turned out. 7Cups surely must not want dead chatrooms with only a negative past to rely on.

Wrong. The closing of Thinking Space obviously meant more people were going to spread around – it was only slightly less in numbers, as most found the diluted version of Thinking Space to be rather boring and/or it was hidden away quite badly so that most people left it behind.

This was not a drastic change for the rest of the site at first, and of course it did not make the numbers of other chatrooms increase drastically at first at all. But eventually a gradual change could be spotted. The dark humour condensed somewhat in the Depression Community Room, though as a changed version – a stepchild of the Thinking Space manner of being. Its clear to see that the sarcastic point of view had placed its seeds in the Depression Community Room, but that it grew out to be a completely different flower. The Depression Community Room (DCR) became more of a loud, obvious, in your face place of busyness and hard talk. Filled with far more trolls but overall, also with fun, good conversation, jokes and some stern chats from time to time. Also about politics and the likes at times, but that was quite logical. Thinking Space, the only place where those discussions were allowed, was positively empty and people needed a space to discuss matters. If the extreme censorship on anything political, sexual or religious is fair, is another point of discussion that I will not continue on here, because of the density of the other problems I want to discuss.
Anyway, the problems with DCR were quite similar; tight community, busy chats, harsh chats from time to time and etc. etc. Youd think Moderators and Admins had learned from the failure in the Thinking Space regulations, but to no avail. The solution that arose was to make the room more exclusive and exclusive until it became vacant, and once again, a community was ripped apart and yet again another empty chatroom fills the list.

The point this shows is the inability to correctly adjust the expectations of the actions the chatroomteam makes to solve problems that arent always even there. Solutions are repeated that have proven to be faulty, problems have been discussed that have proven to be based on fallacies, and et cetera, et cetera. Whats wrong with a busy room, or a harsh room? Let it be condensed in a certain place, so that the rest of the site is not bothered by it. If you delete a core, it will spread.
I am no scientist, but this rather easy to predict and the fact that this is seemingly not taken into account is naive to me. Also because these solutions are hardly ever discussed with members, who have the most expertise on how they work – considering that they actually spend their time there. When it does get discussed – well, take a look at the thread about the Thinking Space Problems and form your own conclusion.
Learning how things work, how problems manifest themself, is a process. But when the process is not learned from, there is a deficiency.

I think I have now reached the core of what I am trying to show you about the chatroom problems in itself. How is this solved? The answer requires discussion and thought, but not from behind the system only – it is time to discuss these things openly and this brings me to my next, maybe even more important point; the global problems in administration.

The overall moderation has gotten some slack throughout the years and it has taken monstrous forms. Hate mail is indeed way out of line – but the refusal to acknowledge any critique has taken monstrous forms too. The next part will be talking about this. Maybe its a good disclaimer to say that this is of course not about all moderators, but that it should also not be taken lightly. If you feel addressed, think deep down and honestly ‘why? and if not, be honest and think ‘why not?. My tone will be rather harsh, because sugarcoating it will not be practical and rather unnecessary. The experiences I will describe have been had by ordinary members, listeners and moderators themselves.

There is a stigma on criticising the moderators openly. It needs to be hushed in the chatroom when no one is watching, because one can count on an immediate mute if they do. Certain things are simply not allowed, and critiques are one of them. Moderators might stand up and say ‘I have seen a lot of criticising and I have said not one thing! and I thank you for that, but the experiences are too universal, too frequent to dismiss when one moderator feels as though they have not done so. This goes for all examples.

For positions that should not be criticised, the moderator system is rather feeble. The obvious favouritism is ever present; such is the unfairness and the capriciousness. People get muted unfairly all the time and where this might not seem like a big deal for some – some people do consider 7Cups as their exhaust valve from reality. Yes, the saying is, if you do not want to miss it then you should not misbehave, but many get muted without misbehaving. There are barely any consequences for those who do wrong, however bad it may be. We have seen it happen where moderators who have done wrong disappear for a week or so, but then return under new names and ‘hush hush just do your job and no one will care.
People do care. And people are hurt.

It often seems like there is no reprimand for people who do wrong, and apologies are barely made. How can you forbid people from criticising a system that is so obviously crooked in so many places? There seems to be no regulation for the mute-, ban- and warn attacks, and complaints seem to get ignored or wiped away.
Id like to wholeheartedly believe that this is not the case. That there is more to it than a scribble on their criminal record, but nothing ever seems to be done. And if it does, it happens silently without anyone knowing. Only for it not to be discussed again, or else a warning or a mute is inflicted immediately. This secretive stance has proven to antagonize members against the moderators, but nothing is done. Again, we are confronted with a passive attitude that treats members as follow-eager dogs that do not think about what is really going on and that can be satisfied with a pat on the hat and a promise that it wont happen again. The treatment has been rather denigrating through the years. Power hunger is a common trait too. I will not go deeper into it, in fear of getting muted and/or banned. But I can promise that I speak from experience, not only my own, but the experiences of others. People that have been treated unfairly. Unfairly, on a site that is supposed to be unsupportive of unjust, only to create it.
What follows is disappointment and disillusionment. I can shake it off, the internet is merely a hobby for me, but I have seen people get more intensely hurt because someone had treated them so unfairly they felt shafted. People that get banned, only to get refused any explanation because of privacy and rules that always work only in favour of the admins, the moderators, etc. I must repeat; its not about ALL moderators, or ALL admins.
But the problem doesnt start only when its ALL moderators, or ALL admins.

It has started with little things that got bigger and bigger over time, in a system that was bound to have extremes. It is, after all, a therapy site. Yet things could have been predicted and things can still be prevented. I can only hope this does not get me banned, because I genuinely enjoy the company of many on here, but I needed to speak my mind (Im not natively English by the way, so please spare me the grammar insults. I might add more later in the comments, but its getting late and I need to tie things up if I want to do some work in my evening).

What I hope for is that this is whole thread not seen as an attack, but as an opportunity to create improvement, and to find the best possible atmosphere for troubled people that are ready to start their healing process.