Anxiety help

Hi, I'm Stella. I may as well throw it all out there and see what happens. I need help with anxiety and an eating disorder that is anxiety related. I cannot eat when I'm anxious and that's a good 80% of the time. I vomit if I force food. I have PTSD and severe anxiety disorder from a terrible childhood. I need tips and tricks to stop the panick attacks. Now I am also in menopause, and it's escalating my panic. Dr says that therapy is best but I'm broke.

Stop here if you are triggered by reading about abuse.

I was 3 when I first remember being molested by my teenage twin uncles. These are most of my first memories of life. My parents were teenage drug addicts, and bullies. Drug dealers, users and bullies. The neighbors intervened a lot for our safety. I was raped the first time (several times) at 14, when I was sold by my father to a nasty old man for a week, as a punishment, because he thought I had accused him of sexual advances, but I hadn't. Long story, that one. So then, I was a wreck, I got on drugs and became promiscuous. My mother was on meth and alcohol all the time, she only had time for about a hundred men, not her children. She even sold her body. There was no love in this family, still isn't. If my father knew I was talking about this he would have me killed. I fear them. Always have. They are mean, racist, narcissistic types. They don't belong in this day and time. I had my first child at 16 and moved out asap. But I can't seem to move past the trauma. I need to be able to let go and move forward. I even had abusive grandparents. I sincerely had no one. I have a brother bit he absolutely refuses to talk about it.

Any advice for panic attacks? I breathe, but I need more trick please. Anyone. Please.

PS I feel uncomfortable with too much sympathy, it was 30 +years ago. I should be past this 😶