a poem i wrote

Want Nothing, Need Everything

I say I don’t need anyone,

But I dream of being seen.

Not stared at, not touched

Just known, like something clean.

I want to want the heat, the skin,

The way they say love’s meant to spin.

But hands feel wrong, like breaking glass,

I tense, recoil, I let them pass.

They think I’m cold or hard to read,

But I’m just trapped between the need.

My body begs for something real,

While my soul forgets how to feel.

My heart breaks for a hand to hold,

But flinches from the touch so cold.

I yearn for love but fear its face,

Desire wrapped in dread’s embrace.

One minute I ache for someone new,

The next, I swear I’m done, I’m through.

Every spark burns out too fast

No feelings stick, they never last.

I hate how people try to stay,

How closeness makes me pull away.

Yet I cry for it when I’m alone

A stranger’s voice, a softer tone.

It’s cruel, the way I tear apart

Everything that nears my heart.

I want to bloom, I want to rot

Want everything… or maybe not.