07.28.2023 - Rain Entry
Spiritual journey.
I wish I am pious. I wish I am a righteous person. I can only try and try. If that even possible.
Maybe it is possible when someone loves YOU truly where he/she only sees, hears, speaks, and moves for YOU.
I love YOU. I do. Maybe imperfect and not enough. But I do.
The demon keep wrapping their filthy hands around my life.
I'm sad. So sad. Why can't I be one of YOUR strongest soldiers. Strongest in avoiding things that YOU don't like.
The world is full of deceptions. I'm trying so hard to keep holding onto the rope YOU threw at me. I am working on my strengths to climb out of the darkness. Please don't leave me.
08.13.2023
Love journey.
Here I am. Talking to supportive strangers. Like a lone wolf without a friend.
I see him. I have him. My bestfriend in this journey. Yet he's now more and more becomes a meaningless presence. As I him.
I have talked, expressed, upset, fought one too many times and now... I have came to a point that I didn't know it exists.
A peaceful hopelessness.
There is no urge to complain, to talk, to request anything anymore. No anger nor upset. There is no urge to even explain this hopelessness. A peaceful hopelessness.
Let's see where this will take us. Will we recover and find our connection once again? Or will we end up in a crossroad and say our goodbyes.
