6/29/17

Sitting here right now, sipping a milkshake. I feel pretty good, albeit a little bored.

My folks have been out of town for a couple of days, and won't be back until saturday. I've liked the freedom I've had so far. I can shower and cook whenever without someone griping at me.

I had a friend over last night. I cooked, we ate, talked, laughed, and had a good time. I'm glad she's still around in my life. She's been my rock for when I hit rock bottom. And sometimes, I feel like I could spend the rest of my days with her. Friendship, romance, IDGAF. I just like being around her, becuase she likes me for me.

But being by myself has been a little lonely. I miss my sister. And having nothing substantial to do other than homework can bore the crap out of a person. I ended up not going to mechanical systems today. Just wasn't feeling it. I know, probably an "irresponsible" decision, but I got loads of chores done, and I got a 2 hour nap in. So I guess the pro's outweighed the cons, in terms of personal well being.

I;m enjoying my life a lot more than I used to, thanks to meds and therapy, and making some personal changes in my life and my thinking process. I'm grateful for that. But sometimes, I still get feelings of inadequacy. Like I'm still not good enough for the world, because I don't have a lot of experiences most people my age have had already. I try not to judge myself for it, but sometimes I slip up, and spend time buried inside of my own head.

But it could be worse. A lot worse.