Ari's Journal - Entry 3 - Rock and a Hard Place

I think this is probably going to be my last entry.

I know I'm still the new kid here. I joined as a Listener because of a time in my life where someone was that person to me. Probably the reason I'm able to sit here with a keyboard today. I wanted to be that person to someone else. And I'd like to think I have been. I have met some great people, had amazing conversations, and learned so much about our world.

And you know what, I didn't expect how good it could be for my mental health. As someone who is physically incapable of speech, I didn't realize communicating to others like this could be so helpful. I haven't been having nightmares, no bad days, just.. content.

The problem is, for every person who is here that needs a genuine listener or friend, there are ten more who are here to test the limits. See how long it can take to break someone. They make up stories as they go to see you squirm. They spread hatred, say dehumanizing things, but worst of all are the threats. I want so badly to help people that I'll give the benefit, but there can be only so many threats of violence and sexual abuse before a person breaks.

I thought I was stronger than this, but I guess not. So, to everyone I've talked to, it's been a pleasure being your Listener. To those other Listeners, it's been a pleasure being your friend. Keep being kind, accept and love each other, and make this life a little more tolerable for the next person.

With love,

Ari