Bad Days

@ObLIVionKate

hey there. gods, that seems so tough -- i'm sorry that you have to go through all of that, but look, you've made it through another day! i'm sorry you're sick, and i hope you get better soon. i'm sorry you didn't do so well on your exams, and that your anxiety's getting worse. i'm glad you're working up the courage to tell someone, but by posting this you're already telling us how you feel, and that's an accomplishment in itself! for your anxiety, here are some links that may help -- one, two, three, and four. perhaps our anxiety course would help, too -- it can be found here. all the best!

I had courage today, which is a step in the right direction. I set an appointment to speak with my professor regarding my performance. This entire semester I have been unable to speak with her, as I was held back mentally (whether it was anxiety or fear of failure). My next step is to admit that I need help and that I can't do it alone. Tomorrow I will set an appointment to see a tutor, I refuse to fail the final exam. While I may only have two weeks left of this semester, I was finally able to take a step in the right direction.

I ran from class to class trying to absorb every bit of information before finals and now I've found myself hungry and exhausted. It's cold and rainy making everything more physically difficult. I hope that when Christmas break hits my energy will increase and the pain will decrease as stress will be forgotten. That is something to look forward to but now is now and I must focus on what's to come in the next few days. My hardest day is tomorrow and I won't forget to eat, like I did today. A bagel and coffee for breakfast always perks me up.

I will end today on a good note with my small steps taken and someone I've spoken with and may actually like :)

LIV

Today was long and even more exhausting than yesterday. I presented in class and thought I did pretty well. My hardest class was this morning and more information has been crammed into my already pain stricken brain. I feel that if I could manage this anxiety I wouldn't be in so much pain. The vibrations are back and they bother me so much. It makes me not want to walk but at the same time I have this urge to test how far I can push it. These vibrations can go from my feat to my head shifting my vision and buzzing through my brain. They are short pulses but occur several times a minute, if it's a rough day. I just hate that I can't control them. It feels like my feat stick to the ground as the pulse runs its course. I can sometimes make them happen, primarily through my upper body, by simply turning my head or inhaling a deep breath. I can only make it do this if I'm exerting effort, such as walking. My lungs are still filled with phlegm and my wet cough seems to just get worse. Fear keeps me from making an appointment with our student health services. Every week I say, 'this weekend I'll do it.' but it never happens. I can't press that button and I feel if I build up the courage to set the appointment I won't have the courage to tell them what's actually wrong.

That was the bad part but there has been some good. :) The person I've found to enjoy talking with sat next to me in class and we talked. He's really a nice guy and something about him makes me comfortable, and boy do I not have a filter when I speak. He laughs at my jokes and sarcasm. He walks quick, which my body hates, but it's not too bad because he distracts me from it all. While he may not like me as I like him, he still gives me this needed distraction that he has no idea keeps me going. I appreciate this and I take what I can get. It's been a long day and I must finish homework so I'll write again tomorrow and I hope that everyone who reads this has a wonderful weekend! Comment with your own stories, I love you guys

LIV

@AliceWasHere @blissedNblessed @cyanPlatypus6370 @faithfulltown7500 @Lachrymose @LittleAardwolf @sensibleApple9993

I didn't write yesterday and some days I may forget but it was an okay day none the less. It was short and eventless, which at this point is okay with me. I studied a little but not as much as I had hoped. I honestly can't remember what I did yesterday, so here is where I will stop.

LIV <3

Another day done, many more to go. I will have to start by saying that baby steps are everything in life and none of us would be anywhere without them. In school, in sports, in relationships, we all take baby steps to get where we are and where we want to be. This small steps are everything and well, I took one today, I built up the courage to see a doctor. By just pulling off the Band-Aid and walking in as a last attempt to feel 100% for finals I had no expectation. However, they didn't accept walk ins, which was unfortunate. The woman at the desk, to getter a better assessment asked if I was sick, I had no idea what to say so I froze and just said no and walked away. This was a small step, one that I needed. We don't win every small battle but as long as we march forward (I had history lecture today) and win the ones that matter we can accomplish so much. Even if we have to take a step back and reassess our strategy, that's okay because we are still looking to take that step in the right direction. While yes, we all will have set backs, days where I'm more anxious than others, days where I simply can't walk because the vibrations hit me like a truck, but those days are just building us up to win the ultimate fight. We can all do, everyone of us, we just need each other.

LIV 🦁

@cyanPlatypus6370 @Lachrymose @LittleAardwolf @Angelshealtranquilityprevails @dropless6 @faithfulltown7500 @Redheadbaker7206 @sensibleApple9993 @Totem46 @AliceWasHere

@ObLIVionKate

Hi kate, you already know how much i enjoy chatting with you...so we will pass those fomalities. I feel for you, so much, that you are sick. It is the hardest thing to go through, especially when you are, or you feel you are alone. Here you are never alone. Just find me, or one of our other lovely chat friends, and we will talk the hours away.

as far as exams go....exams, and courses, can always be retaken. I learned this the hard way. i did wonderfully my first two years of university, and then tradgety struck...i struggled and fought to stay in school because i thought it was what i had to do...but i failed most all of my courses....

Only when i took a step back, and two years away from university, was i able to return and finish my degree...am i using my degree now? no, i am too sick to use it...but, the pride i have in finishing it is immesurable. And i really did just need to step back and realize, that those few failed courses were not the end. they WERE NOT me. I am smart...i am competant...i just needed a break. and when i gave myself a break, i returned and accomplished my goal. Of course, it did not feel like i would ever come back to finish it when i quit...but i did.

Keep trying kate, until you decide you need a break, then never give up...because IT IS just a break, and you can always go back to it.

Stay strong...they aren't all bad days to come.

Lachrymose

Where to start....

I'll start by saying that all of you have made me improve so much in just this short amount of time. Emotionally I feel stronger and more capable of overcoming some of my irrational fears. You all rock💜

Just a couple more days and finals until break! 😊 It hasn't been easy though. I always get sick during this time because of the season and the stress of finals. However, my lack of hydration led me to going completely blind while in Publix with a friend (can we say awkward). I grabbed on to some ones cart, I thought it was my friend, but I was very wrong and grabbed onto a complete stranger. I didn't freak I just stood there waiting for them to bring me a chair so I could sit down. The pressure that I felt pulling me towards the ground was excruciatingly strong but I didn't give in and I didn't pass out. Once they brought a chair, I sat down my vision started to come back and I was just sitting in the middle of the isle turning in circles asking if people wanted to race (My humor shall never die!) So later I went to the ER because of how weird I felt and they gave me lots of fluid and kept saying how important it is to hydrated. They were worried about my BP, as there were only slight improvements after the first bag. I went back with my roommate and called it a night with a raging headache vibrating body. Then this morning we had a fire alarm go off in our building 😁. Still not so sturdy I walked from the 8th floor outside and had to wait what felt like forever to be let back in. I did receive a rescheduled date for one of my exams, which was nice because I did not feel like taking it today.

It has been one heck of a week so far 😺 All of you are awesome and I'm so glad to be part of the 7 cups community!

LIV 🦁

@Lachrymose @CaptainHowdy @cyanPlatypus6370 @JupiterAra @LittleAardwolf @Redheadbaker7206 @timetravelingJedi

Hi everybody...

Today wasn,'t a good day, I passed it in library doing my architecture project.

I'm not very satisfied because in 8 hours of work i thought I could go on and on and finish what i planned to do today... but I didn't.

I did not much, and I'm surprised by that because I really worked hard today.. but as always satisfactions never come to me.

So, I was at home for dinner and I took a shower because I was really stressed, then I felt better but I was tired so I went to bed.

My cat woke me up at 2 am, from then I really can't sleep. My friend post the photos of her party and I really look fat.. but when I look at the mirror I don't see that.

In that photos I'm really horrible, i've never had problems with my body, but now they came.

I feel disappointed by myself.. for what I do and I'm sad because I never have time for doing anything because of school stuff, i'm sick of this, I want to relax myself but I can't, I really want to sleep right now but my mind doesn't permit it. I have to wake up in two hours, and I know I'll feel exhausted.

So, this is my day, i'm feelings useless as always and my suicidal thoughts are bothering me as always.

If there was no hope in me, probably I wouldn't be alive now..

I'll try to sleep now.

@Lachrymose

https://www.123greetings.com/send/view/01205517920458100386

LIV

Lachry,

It's been too long my friend! Where are you, how are you, what's going on? I've been worried not seeing you around. Write me soon!

LIV🦁

@Lachrymose