Constant pain and harming
Hey all. I'm on and off cups, I say hi but don't really be active in the chat rooms. I suffer from chronic stress and chronic pain and have taken to self harming which in some ways I feel like I enjoy because I feel like I deserve the pain but I'm also scared of what I'll do to myself. Part of me is suicidal but the other part wants to live and be happy. I want to get better but I've been trying for so long and I've made no progress. Seen three counselors and to be honest they knew nothing, were no help to me. A lot of the problem is I have Autism which I get bullied about by most people including my own family. I feel so bad and I don't know what to do about it. But I'm feeling like if I don't get it sorted soon I'll be out of time.
@Imafairytale
I am not sure if you're welcoming responses but I can relate to how you feel. It's great to be able to get your thoughts out there just anywhere but in your head. I find the more it's in my head, the more painful it is. I too, feel just like you do. But just the fact you still want to live means A LOT. It's a huge posititive thought you're having that saves you from the deep dark abyss that is constant suffering. I hope you keep thinking that positive thought, the more "I want to live" triggers vs the "I want to harm." Shows a great recovery. It's a proccess, you won't stop harming over night. Build up your mental strength with these great thoughts. What about any more positive thoughts you can think of? Build a bridge of connections in this brain, that positive voice is unstoppable. If you'd like to hear my story, I'd be glad to share with you, but this is your thread and you're in power! I believe in you! Stay strong.
