Dear ______,

Dear____,

I'm sorry for all the times I've let you down. I wish I could be the person you want me to be but I'm not, and I'm disappointing myself for disappointing you. I don't mean what I said, I'm sorry I should have kept it to myself, but it is some what your fault too. You hurt me a lot but for some reason I can't go a day at school without taking to you, you make me so confused. I really wish I could figure my stuff out, and quit disappointing you, but I'm afraid that will never be a reality.

Dear____,

I hope you are well..you have hurt me too deeply..but you are forgiven...

Dear _______,

It seems lately you keep running around in my head constantly, I keep wondering if you're okay and what is on your mind, I want to have you share so much of who you are with me. you're like the opposite of everything I am, and it fascinates me how we actually get along so well.. or if I'm the one only feeling this way. You're pretty much the first person that comes to mind when I want to share something that's bothering me, issues and thoughts that I can't bring myself to talk about with anyone else, but with you, you make it so easy.

And that is where life amazes me. And in a way, like all great encounters, suddenly and unexpectedly, ours just happened.

I'm beginning to really enjoy your company and I really, really like who you are and what you are. I hope this becomes something stronger and even if it doesn't I was just really happy to have someone like you around, it give me hope about people in general and for myself.

Thank you for being you and for showing me so much care, patience and my existence :3 Somewhere I hope you feel even the slightest way similar to how I feel about you :)

Dear _____,

I'm so sorry for all that I did to you and made you feel. I admittedly was a huge jerk when I was younger (the same time I knew you) and I regret it more than anything else. I really, TRULY wish I was still in touch with you and could apologize, but you moved away and I don't have any of your contact info. I was a huge, crappy, completely unnecessary jerk to you, and I hope that if we ever meet again you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Please know that I'm not the same person I was back then, and I've changed for the better. I mean, I used to make fun of you for having big, geeky glasses and now I wear them myself everyday (bad eyesight can be a blessing and a curse).

Dear ____

I wish I were able to get along with you family. I wish I were able to accept their problems and their rude comments like you can. I wish it didnt upset me when they hurt you because it obviously doesnt bother you.

I wish we were close like all the other people that have married into your family. But I cant stand your mother. I am trying, but she freaks me out. I hope you dont get to upset, and I am thankful that you always at least try to look at my point of view.

I love you, I just wish i got along with your family like i do my own.

Your loving Wife

Dear ___,

I wish I had never let you into my life. Before you, I was carefree, young, and happy. You've left me stressed, anxious, and older than my youth.

Even when I got rid of you, you never really left. You left a price of you inside me, and I've allowed to feed on my self-esteem and confidence, and as a result you've grown yourself into another monster.

I hope you're happy, because I'm not.

Dear _____,

We were together for 3 years. I'm not mad about us breaking up. I'm just bothered how you let me get to comfortable. You know every single thing about me. You know know my fears and my secrets. You know all about my past. And now I have to pray for you not to tell anyone all of that. I have to deal with the fact that you will never love me or look at me the same. And I don't care. I just care about how everything we did together, everything we shared together, everything we've told each other seemed all like a game to you. That's what I have to deal with. Knowing that I can't trust you, but I still have to because you know everything about me that no one else knows. The fact that you know me better than I know myself is what haunts me. And the fear of having to accept that just puts this huge weight on my shoulders. You know my every flaw and you used to consider it perfect. Im going on 1 year and 2 months of not having you in my life and everything has changed so much! It literally feels as if I dont know you. As if Ive never met you. You told me you wanted me, that you needed me in your life. You told me youd go crazy without me. You said you wouldnt know what you would do if you ever lost me. I wasnt your first girlfriend and you werent my first boyfriend. But we both know that we were each others first love. And whats sad is that I still consider as The One. I would STILL chose you over anyone out there in the world! No matter how many times you've hurt me and destroyed me emotionally, I'd still rather be with you than anyone else! And you know it! You fucking know that I'm always going be here for you! Everyone know im ALWAYS going be here for your ungrateful ass! I still to this day choose you over anything! Why? Because I fucking love you! Remember the way we would write ILoveYou? No spaces because there's no room for anybody else....When you left you took everything away from me. We have so many memories. From our first kiss, to making love, to our crazy adventures....protecting me from anything; even from my parents! Why would you let go of that? Why would you let go of a girl that truly loves you? And you see, that's what I hate about you! You'd rather be with a girl that you like that's only going to last for a moment instead of being with the girl that you love that will last forever. But what hurts the most is how you broke every single promise that you made to me! I know I'm not perfect, I know I'm not the skinniest, most beautiful looking girl out there. But I can honestly say that I do love you. Yeah I might be too young to know what love is. But love doesn't have an age! You showed me what love is and I wanted to spend forever with you. But if being with you means getting my heart broken constantly, being lied to constantly, well then, I don't want be with you. I never believed people when they said how much it hurts to have your heart broken, until it was me, lying on the bathroom floor, with mascara running down my face, gasping for air, crying. So don't you dare say you have never killed anyone because that night, you killed me. I kept drowning you
 in my bottles 
and drugs, finding you
 at the very bottom
 when I was too tired
 and too weak 
to fight it. I needed you to want me
 when I did not 
want myself. I hated the way you 
killed me in the most delicate
 ways, without
 leaving scars to show. You've destroyed what I once was. You were the only person I would go to, to talk to about everything! You were the only one I would cry to, the only one I would vent to about literally anything! You would make me feel better, but who was I going to go to now when you were the one who caused this dreadful feeling and pain? Yeah, I had other people to go to. Yeah I had people there for me, but you were all my heart had; you kept me going. By now people would think that I'd realize that I'm being stupid and ridiculous for torturing myself thinking you would come back. I gave you everything. And what pisses me off the most is how you never fucking told me in person! You never fucking told me why! I had to hear it from other people! Because you're a cowered that can't say anything to me when it comes face to face! Just how it was easy to say "I love you", it was just as easy to break my heart. You said you would never leave me! And you lied again! You looked me in the fucking eye and said you would never hurt me again!!!!! Was it easy? Was it easy to put those words in my head? To forget me? Was it easy to leave me? You were the most important person in my life and you ruined me. But idk, I don't think I'll ever find anyone like you. The memories get foggy and fade and I hate the feeling of not remembering what your lips feel like. I know you're no good for me, but it's worse without you. Even when I try not to want you, I end up needing you. You're my favorite joy, yet my endless pain. I tried to hate you, but the only thing I hated was how much I love you. You had someone that loved you unconditionally, treated you right, and wanted to be with you. And then you threw all that away. But I guess if I love you, I should just let you go and let you move on.

Dear _______,

Why have I never been good enough for you.

Dear,

I fear we're facing a problem. You love me no longer, I know. And maybe there's nothing I can do to make you do.

Lately I have desperately pondered. Spent my nights awake and I wonder what I could've done another way to make you stay. (Lovefool by The Cardigans)

......

Well that's the song I sang to you a few weeks ago. What an embarrassing moment. But it was the perfect song to sing. I mean, I'm not a singer but this song is spot on right on how I feel about you.

Yes, yes. I know I shouldn't be thinking about you. In fact, I think I should be a little mad at you for what you did. But whatever. I guess you were just looking out for yourself.

Anyway, I hope you're doing well? Okay, I don't think you'll ever see this but in case you do, then hello.

Dear ,

We spoke today. My heart felt light. The sadness lifted, for a short time. You still make my heart flutter. And smile, when I am trying to be grumpy.

The only thing, I never said, my only regret. I love you.

Always my Captain, you will be.

Mwah!

~ Sweets