Diary of Modal0154: open to replies

Unsettling exit of a final vistor at the library--thankfully dropped off, though my dad was not sober.

My attachment to fear instead instead of unblinking realism.

Using data--questionable WiFi presence.. again

=______=

To be fair (?), it might be more accurate to call my hatred, my antipathy towards labour investment processes/schooling as a hatred, lack of fondness or antipathy towards learning curves specifically and my impatience.

Modality s--ks. Getting things to sync to your mental modality s--ks. That struggle.

I like geography but not traveling.

Me gusta geografia pero no viejando.

Royally disagreeing w/large parts of this 2k12 'Vanity fair' article: https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2012/01/prisoners-of-style-201201

Fairly short-sighted and man what a revision of this w/in the years remaining weeks would look like.

Still got no 'fashion sense'.

The importance of someone *writing down* an ontology of practice.

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In this age of internet based anomie, you must remember aside from precursors to depression or addiction, boredom can be validly likened to torture.

..

..it s--ks to think how much irreversible deterioration occurs to someone before some more vitality inducing but ever so laboursome to achieve arrives w/in their lifetime.

Access to a land plot on a community garden.

An idea for after moving out.

I'm going to admit that when I see ppl pan-handling and them unambiguously having cigarettes on them or even lighting one up before pleading, I'm more likely to think 'shameless fool' behind my eyes and be less sympathetic.

A part of me guesses that including marijuana legalization like ~1/4 of Canada smokes actively; don't underestimate how unglamorous and despairing what obligatory winter inactivity can do--as usual I'm resentful for the overlooked 'white privledge' the Scandinavian countries get when it comes to praising HDI related scores and supposed sociopolitical attitudes whilst pretending that racism even the non-Anders Behring Breivik or underserving Sami ppl kind isn't a thing, that toxic gender politics outside of the fictional 'Lisbeth Salander' kind isn't a thing and pretending that winter won't cause callous apathy on a societal level..

..Von Trier, Bergman, Kierkegaard..I watched a documentary Magnus Carlsen once and was unsettled by how vividly manifest ant his depression like syndromes expressed..

Still no WiFi here..

..not being bothered by thoughts of a now defunct MacBook..

Trying not being bothered by thoughts of a now defunct MacBook..