Diary of Modal0154: open to replies

irl journal excerpts--

" 10-13-2k19

Incompatibility, incompatibility as what I crave is immaterial. The immaterial so sought after w/the material. The immaterial is crowded you cant continue to lie that, that which spends the immaterial, the gauge of the immaterial btw events is made from the material, the most material of object-oriented trust constructs to its credit.the five forces owe nothing.

^_^ Those cute photos of an elderly Grace Hopper in a military uniform.

10-14-2k19

[name of a certain relative/uncle-in-law] is the only valid connection to ‘Caucasian culture.

10-15-2k19

When it comes to changing defns of attraction consider how ‘flatness was unwittingly averted in pornography most of the time.

10-18-2k19

I do prefer audiobooks to podcasts, and I got my ‘start in podcasts (‘the Cracked podcast).

10-20-2k19

Comfortable but not too fulfilling work.

10-28-2k19

~Functional annihilationism~

Consumed sociomechanicality and its disembracing

Instrumental to ‘la chica del humo [by Emmanuel]

10-30-2k19

Developing humour which isnt insult based is difficult.

Dharma movies

It is a drag how seldom eloquent anyone is about expressing ‘the whole picture.

11-1-2k19

‘Chasers I use after pornography.

11-3-2k19

John Ruskin – Curiosity is a gift. A capacity of pleasure in knowing.

Dont ever go to cemeteries in a rush. Never visit cemeteries in a rush.

What could be said about modern masculinity if Elliot Hulse meet the ‘TwoSet Violin duo.

Decades from now...

A ‘reverse Gran Torino scenario [movie]

(West (?)) Asian males/immigrant offspring aged...

Mentoring cisgender heterosexual Caucasian teen

..if ‘trans-‘(?)

I swear its the unsatisfactoriness of being in a living space so crowded, even its more quiet moments which makes me all the more vulnerable to addiction.

...when you think that all ‘white ppl ‘culture ‘ does is rebel is it any wonder the family of minorities are skeptical about you?.

Its important to remind myself how I am not meaning to induce ‘white guilt.

11-4-2k19

I gladly submit to how those who can have or have families are smarter than me

https://giphy.com/gifs/rodan-bowing-godzilla-2019-J1dGHXVULL8zuGxZpl

11-5-2k19

Something, something, microaggressions.

I think Im better than those blaring hip-hop while biking or driving b/c unlike those blaring hip-hop while biking or driving I got the msg that hip-hop is overcommodified, no longer novel and hence vapid in its effectuality of being rebellious before going off to seek something more meaningful in music theory.

Instrumental, classical or jazz is effectual.

Its difficult to find a movie which you think is good enough to watch b/c its innovative to its genre.

Life is literally whatever it is which makes you trust yourself.

Rotoscoping might be the only animation technique ‘the West remains ‘skilled at (ex.Paris 2054: Renaissance movie). Not widely used, but I would expect it to be used in the European scene.

Im glad that Canada has its own experimental animation scene [https://www.youtube.com/user/nfb/playlists]

The dread which fills me of having to kill insects upon moving to an apartment b/c of how variably sanitary neighbours are.

One of the most lividity inducing things I ever saw was a hat w/ pins – including one saying ‘sl-t enabler

My mind seeks logics, lines of argument to sooth over the voices of past terrors.

11-6-2k19

Deep down inside..risks and the agony of ‘the paradox of caring too much.

When your upset when you find out how most of the world, including the adult world operates on a ‘need to know basis.

The part of me which wonders whether in its own hokey way, ‘Little mosque on the prairie helped prevent the higher rate of Alberta hate crimes ‘which could have been.

Something which annoys ppl about life sometimes is that it doesnt seem to know when the joke is over.

‘Giddy ^u^ is seeing collected ‘trade paperbacks of what you think is *the entire* 80s to 90s run of DCs ‘Animal man.

When it comes to the significance of popularity, dont discount nonurban populations . The now quaint seeming fixation on Westerns and its romanticization from the 40s-60s came from the valid significance of the transition of rural American populations. Not that everyone was included in that community as Natives and not only black ppl can attest too [hence the thematic tropes throughout https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell_on_Wheels_(TV_series)]. "

WiFi returns..

Apologies for the 10-15-2k19 entry and other possible uncomfortably lewd undertones.

I am fond of the 'Jun Fukamachi: Improvisation Live!" album.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/175139.The_Essential_Tillich

Shawn Birss (reviewer, comment): "His eschatology is more concerned with the growth of justice in this world, not some outward justice enacted upon it."

____

Good coming (ex. for arriving) -- " " -- of nothing (ex. Maui song in 'Moana')

Bienvenido--welcome--de nada

Food deserts are annoying. Household food deserts are annoying.

For having forgotten to take off the harness you used to walk a dog earlier and which you still see on her when you arrive back.

Resisting self-hate.

A memory from long ago when I made a rare decision to try pork and the next day where I volunteered at the time, someone in hindsight I didn't feel comfortable around, while proceeding up a staircase asks "[middle name] do you like to play in the mud?" w/that bizzarely fixed face of callous apathy which got backhanded comments from others.

>:I "If it's so important how come you don't go to another?!", my mind to some obnoxious a--hole who was kicking the door to a washroom stall while I was leaving.

____

F--k how negative memories have the d--mn heaviest 'footprint'.

I worry about 'the w's and how' as to embracing 'sweets' in variable amounts as the year ends.

Baklava is not something que como frecuentemente.

On the forum I used to be on for pornography addiction specifically there was a neat ft. where you could highlight something and it'd be hidden/kept w/in like a tag which said ~'triggering content'. I think it'd be helpful here.

Agnosticismo como un metodo epistemico.

A frivolous way to pitch agnosticism, which I wouldn't pitch for myself, personally 'not really believing in it' is as 'the spiritual equivalent of bisexuality'.

If someone said something about 'haptic exhaustion' or 'haptic stimulation' would they understand that as code for masturbation?.

You don't need faith to 'care too much'.

...........

big mistake, that one.