For my son

In coming here and speaking to people I can see why my son has spent a lot of time here.

I'm glad he has you.

Things have been difficult of late and now more than ever before he is going to need you because I finally gained some trust with him and had him agree for me to bring him home. Only I didn't. I wanted to pay my debt to some people I know and they wanted him to stay with them until its paid, as trust. They know I am in a program for drug and alcohol and recovering and fear I will just run off.

The look on my sons face when I took him there, haunts me.

I know he will not understand.

In two more days I can have him home but if I do a deal today I can have him back tonight.

I want to wait two more days and forever be done with this crowd. I also want my son home and for us to start fresh together.

I have notslept, going on my third day of no sleep.

Every time I close my eyes I see his disappointment.

This place helped him alot when he was raped by my ex, he shut himself away in his room for months on end. I fell in love with his highschool bully, I won't lie that they have had their fair share of fights, but I left him too. I want for us to start fresh, he deserves for a better life and I want to make up for all the wrong.

I feel like I'm spilling everything all over and jumbled not exactly making Much sence. Lack of sleep can do that to you.

The reason I am here is because I hope you see this Damien.

I really do want us to start fresh.

All I want to do is call you but I can't , I have your phone :( they have you. I just hope you can understand why I did this.

I know you are safe or I wouldn't have.

If I hadn't we wouldn't be safe.

This is the cut.

We can be done after this.

I want to thank everyone who knows hhimfor helping him through his darkest times.

This place is reallyamazing, God send. Damien is very private, struggles to trust. So I am not sure if any of you actually know him by name or face.

If you do he must consider you a friend and someone who has been there for him. I thank you so much for that.

I don't know how he managed to turn out so well after the hell he has been through, he probably hasn't told you his father died when he was young, I was never there for him but he was always there for me. His girlfriend over dosed one night when thy were drinking, he struggles not to blame himself and this is probably his biggest demon.

I'm telling this Damien because I don't know that you have and I want you to seek the help you deserve.

I love you so much.

You will be out of that place soon and I just hope we can start again from there, I know you'll run.

I just prey you will find it in your heart to forgive me one last time and finally we can move forward together.

I promise I'm clean and fixing all my wrongs.

I don't know how else to prove that.

I love you.

Mum.